I jumped out of a perfectly good airplane!

One of my bucket list items in my 40th year was to skydive. I finally got to do it last week, a couple months after my 41st birthday. I went with a couple of my favorite people & it will be a wonderful memory to share.

This pic is not hyper-linked. Find the vid here: https://www.mistresst.net/free_video

This pic is not hyper-linked. Find the vid here: https://www.mistresst.net/free_video

Am I an adrenaline junkie? I don’t know. I went on BIG roller coasters for the first time when I was about 18. I loved it & have been on a lot of those types of rides over the years. I bungee jumped only once in my early 20’s & hated every minute of it until it was over. I loved the rush but never did it again. I’ve white water rafted, jumped off high cliffs & gone very fast as a passenger on motorbikes, all felt too dangerous. If there is a real threat to my life I like it less than the safer thrills like roller coasters. I also loved paragliding & parasailing. So I figured skydiving tandem (attached to a professional) would be good. It would be safe but thrilling.

I was right. Though if he hadn’t shoved us out the door of that plane there is no way I would have gone. I was utterly terrified as he slide me closer to the door. It’s a shame that I had such equipment failure as you can’t really see my reaction which was complete short-circuited terror. It was sensory overload & for a split second I slammed my eyes shut because I could not handle it but realizing I was going to lose my gear if I didn’t grab it kind of brought me back to reality. And reality was hard & fast. It’s amazing, adrenaline. It gives you laser focus. You are not thinking about anything else, you are completely in the moment. To quiet the chatter of the monkey mind even for a minute is so refreshing.

This will be too hippie for some of you but when I heard this a few years ago I wept, it hit home so hard: (If the link doesn’t work just google “Rest in Natural Great Peace”) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gvo-CCtC3Zs

Rest in natural great peace
This exhausted mind
Beaten helplessly by karma and neurotic thought
Like the relentless fury of the pounding waves
In the infinite ocean of samsara.
Rest in natural great peace.

~Nyoshul Khenpo Rinpoche

I’ve heard that meditation practitioners are often adrenaline junkies because it’s a great way to focus the mind, to be present in the moment, which is kind of the goal of meditation.

Anyway, you can find the skydiving vid on the free preview page of my members site (you can stream or download for free from that page): https://www.MistressT.net/free_video

The music & audio are kind of odd as the skydive company edited the vid with copyrighted music so I had to re-edit it with royalty-free music.

Enjoy!

Mistress T

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Meeting fans in real life.

"Tell me more..."

“Tell me more…”

I was recently contacted by a fan who had been reading my blog for years & wanted to meet me in person but not for a session, just to talk. He valued my time so offered a respectable tribute. I love meeting fans in this way. I often use them as “muses” when filming vids as they usually represent the typical guy who watches my vids.

I arrived at the cafe a few minutes early, did a scan for him. I didn’t know what he looked like yet so I was at a slight disadvantage. No one seemed to get an instant boner or looked flushed so I got my tea & sat down. He approached me a moment later, shy but with a friendly face. It put me at ease.

We made small talk and I soon discovered that he had lived an interesting life as a real cuckold. His story fascinated me. He had met his wife in university & knew of her reputation for being promiscuous & cheating on her boyfriends. That didn’t deter him, it actually attracted him to her. He didn’t struggle with it even at a young age. He accepted that as a part of his sexuality.

He was turned on thinking about her being with other men...lots of other men...

He was turned on thinking about her being with other men…lots of other men…

They dated and quickly fell into a serious relationship. In many ways they had a normal, happy relationship. They even had a decent sex life but he knew she had a wild side & suspected she was straying. Eventually she stopped even attempting to keep her dalliances a secret as he never made a fuss about things she was sloppy about covering up. Their communication got better & she would tell him about her affairs, sharing details, even include him in different ways. He loved going down on her & occasionally having intercourse with her after she had been with someone else.

She developed a taste for black men & had a several black lovers. Eventually there was less & less intercourse between she & her cuckolded husband but their relationship was still good. The cuckolding was hot for both of them. He loved the idea of her getting satisfied by black men and developed a ‘fetish’ for black bulls along with her.

Black bulls & cuckolding go together like peas & carrots...

Black bulls & cuckolding go together like peas & carrots…

I know. This all sounds cliche & made up. He could have been lying to me but I believed him. I cross examined him & dug for more details. How he felt about this or that, etc. He simply gave me the facts.

This relationship lasted for quite a few years & eventually their marriage ended but he assured me that the reasons for divorce had nothing to do with the cuckolding part of their life.

I asked him what he was looking for from me and he replied that he wasn’t sure. He had taken a break from porn, sex & all fetish activities after the divorce for quite awhile. He had only been reading my blog. He felt connected to me in a cerebral way & simply wanted to connect with me in real life, with no expectations or plans. Just a chat. Just for the heck of it. When I asked how he felt about me writing about him in my blog he said he would find it thrilling. So here it is. What will happen next?

On the topic of meeting fans in real life I recently met with another fan & our encounter was interesting in a whole different way. He & I had done a cam session first. He was into humiliation so I verbally humiliated him while he did humiliating things like dressing up in women’s cloths, sucked a dildo, etc. He excitedly explained what a loser he was trying to get me to laugh at him. The laughing was what turned him on. He explained that he was still a virgin in his mid 20’s, that he fantasized about sucking cock all the time, etc.

Cam session antics...

Cam session antics…

The cam session went so well he requested a private session. I suggested we go for a bite to eat first to get acquainted in person. Over breakfast things took an unexpected turn. As he shared more & more details about his pathetic life I saw that this went beyond fantasy. This guy really needed to make some serious changes. That he was on a downward trajectory and I just couldn’t be a part of that.

I made it clear that his fetish for being humiliated was perfectly fine within the parameters of a fantasy but that outside of that he needed to not be a loser. I won’t go into details on specifically what changes I advised him to make but broadly they were pertaining to physical health as well as emotional health. Our meeting was a real boner-killer for him. He cried at one point. But not in the hot, humiliating way. The way you cry when you’re touched by someone’s kindness. Pretty much the last thing he expected or wanted to pay for but for christ sake, I have a conscience. I couldn’t take his money when I felt like I could make a positive difference in his life. He has written since that he is implementing some of the changes I recommended & he’s grateful for my help. Time will tell. I plan to keep tabs on him as I’m curious to see if I really did help or not.

A lot of people have fantasies & fetishes that they explore & play with in a healthy way. You can be a groveling, boot licking, piss drinking, cock sucking sissy bitch and ALSO be a strong, balanced, healthy, person with high self esteem. You don’t have to be a fucking loser 24/7. You don’t have to choose one or the other. Have your damn cake & eat it too.

Which brings me full circle to the first guy in this blog post. He had balanced a very normal & healthy life with his kink. Sure, he admitted he had had periods of slight obsession, where he indulged a little too heavily in cuckolding porn, no one is perfect…but he was otherwise very self-aware, emotionally healthy & “normal”.

Take care of yourselves, eh.

Cheers,

Mistress T

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Judgement

Mistress T nude.

Why this image for this blog post? No reason…I’m nude, exposed…it’s pretty. Whatever.

Judgement has been the topic of several of my blog posts & as much as I wish it would go away so I wouldn’t need to talk about it anymore, alas, that’s not reality.

I also like to talk about it because I know so many of my readers struggle with this too. Many have never told anyone about their fetishes or have had negative reactions after someone has found out.

Imagine making your fetishes your job & having your face all over the internet broadcasting how kinky you are. That’s the difficult path I’ve chosen. I love my work but there are trade-offs for living my life so out in the open.

The last few months I’ve been dabbling in online dating. I would love to have a significant other in my life. Lovers come & go. Some turn into wonderful friends. I’ve been blessed. Yet I still feel like my life would be enhanced by a very significant other. Of course my job & lifestyle are an obstacle but I know a lot of women in my industry who have found wonderful partners.

Most of my 1st dates have been fine. There just hasn’t been chemistry. Most guys I tell about my alter-ego say they don’t have a problem with it but I’m very aware that a lot of guys are just lonely & will say anything for some company. I tell them all right away what I do so that if it’s an issue we can just get that out of the way.

In the last week I went on a couple dates with two different guys who really seemed to have potential. Yet, the sting of judgement got me in two different & unique ways.

1. After a couple dates with the 1st potential Mr. Right he accidentally let it slip how disgusted he was with a particular sexual activity that just happened to be near the top of my list of favorite activities. (Don’t bother asking me what that is specifically. My sexuality is complex & part of it requires me to not tell the entire world EVERYTHING.) If he had just not been into it I could have let it go, but it was the judgement, the disgust of it that got me. As I tried to make my exit he back-peddled trying to say that maybe he could try it but the damage was done. Most of us fetishists would rather indulge our fetishes with someone who is also into it, not doing it ‘just’ for us.

2. Contestant #2 feared his teen daughter would get teased at school if her class mates found out her dad was dating a porn star. As I made my exit he seemed concerned that he had hurt my feelings. I laughed at that. My answer would have been too complex. I thought of his daughter finding out years later that her dad passed up a potentially wonderful relationship with a women for such a silly reason. She probably worries about how lonely her dad is & would be happy just to see him happy. I have some personal experience as the teen in this case but that’s a longer story. I didn’t bother saying any of that because the damage was already done. Deep down I felt there was judgement & narrow-mindedness on his part that he wasn’t being honest with himself about.

These were just two guys that I went on a couple of dates with. There was no emotional attachment, only the potential for one. In the long run I probably won’t even remember them. It’s the judgment that leaves a mark.

So if you’re reading this & thinking about your own personal experience being judged for being different, for having a fetish or kink, for wanting something out of the norm, know that you’re not alone. The world is FULL of deviants, perverts, fetishists, sinners, lovers of the alternative. I have many wonderful friends who don’t just accept me but celebrate all that I am.

If you’re reading this & you’re guilty of having judged someone, for shaming someone, for making someone feel broken for being aroused by something other than what arouses you: Do not judge others for sinning differently than you. Or: Judge not lest ye be judged. All of us ‘could’ easily be judged by someone for something. Sexual diversity should be celebrated.

Vive la différence!

Best,
Mistress T

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