Confessions of an Unlikely Film Slave

Mistress T with a cock

From “Cum Drinking Cock Sucking Sissy”

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From “Milked Drained Used”

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From “Medical Experiment”

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From” Ball Tease 1 Finger CumShot”

This was written by one of my film slaves:

I’m in my mid-thirties, a mild mannered, clean cut, IT middle manager, happily married (though clearly not fully sexually sated), and really just a mostly grown up geek.  Physically I’m average at best, including my cock. If you saw me on the street, stunt cock for femdom handjob porn videos would be the furthest from your assumptions and or imagination.

This tawdry tale starts about three years ago when porn music videos (PMV) were my primary extramarital libido quelling tool.  For the uninitiated; PMVs are basically montages of different porn, cut and edited to music, usually following a theme.  There is even a sub-genre referred to as cockhero where the video prescribes the way and tempo to which you should wank, with the challenge being to make it to the end and the designated reward montage.  Well, one of these videos finished with a montage of femdom material that included amongst others, some MistressT footage that was both novel and arousing.

Sleuthing out more of MistressT’s work wasn’t hard thanks to her watermark that was graciously left intact.  After some preview piracy, I ended up purchasing two videos from her clips4sale site which were already favourites in my rotation.  Some months later, and about a year and a half ago now, I went back for more and I stumbled onto her blog where one of the recent posts referenced a prior post on film slave applications, not only that, but I learned that MistressT was local to me and Vancouver based!  I figured it was clearly a sign.

I had no delusions that my chances weren’t astronomically slim despite my proximity.  I figured that in the least the application process itself would be fantasy fodder with the bonus of an outside chance for an opportunity of a lifetime.  I was meticulous in adhering to the application guidelines, treating it as though it was a job application and including a $50 tribute for piracy penance.  I spent a week brewing over the email, finally sent it, and MistressT replied in under an hour with “Well, they say you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.  Sure, I’d give you a go.” and we setup a date and time.

For days leading up to the session I waffled between incredulity and nervous anticipation with building arousal throughout.  The session was scheduled for 4pm and having denied myself release for a couple days prior, all throughout the workday I was exceedingly horny and hopelessly distracted.  My first impressions of MistressT were that she was; nice, professional, in charge, smoking hot, exuding sexuality and short.  Some brief nervous banter ensued prior to getting down to the task at hand.

I left the first session feeling underwhelmed; I mean I had nothing to complain about, it was great in that I got jerked off by a hot, eager and almost naked lady and she filmed it to boot.  In part, I had worked up impossible anticipation and expectations and in part, it was a little weird and awkward that we were strangers.  It also was both weird and a fulfilled fantasy that I was being objectified and used only for my cock and that the situation lacked any sense of intimacy.  Shortly after the session I sent MistressT an email thanking her for the opportunity, sharing some of my feelings about the session and offering myself for future sessions if she was interested, thinking that I would not hear from her again.  I was wrong.

I’ve since had the pleasure of filming with MistressT several dozen times; including in a rented dungeon, with VR cameras (and on looking technicians) and some scenes that incorporated ideas and fantasies of my own.  So far, my two favourite scenes are “orgasm control tough love” and “1 finger cum shot”.  Even more rewarding than the getting off part (which is great) is being wanted for the part, for the confidence it has given me and for just having been in porn, I mean what guy hasn’t fantasized about that?  The weirdness and awkwardness that was there initially has dissolved as we have slowly gotten to know each other and built a rapport.  In this process, I discovered that MistressT, and more so the multi faceted woman behind her is really a great and interesting person and someone that I wanted to call a friend.

This classic worlds in collision scenario caused and continues to cause me angst.  First, I wasn’t positive that the feelings were mutual, and I didn’t want to be misconstrued as creeper and make things awkward.  Regardless, it seemed moot as the legitimate options for social overlap have significant hurdles on my end, namely my wife and societies petty sexual hang ups.  It pains me that I have not, and cannot share this with my wife and best friend, especially since I think her and the person behind MistressT would get along swimmingly.  In fact, I have not shared that I am a film slave with a single sole, in part this is eating me up and I’m dying to tell someone, in part having a dirty little secret is fun.  I mentioned this dilemma to a friend of mine recently, she told me that I should write about it and she would post it on her blog…

Only a fool knows what the future holds, I hope though that mine contains a good many more filming sessions, pushed boundaries, explored fantasies and engaging banter with MistressT.  Even more so, I sincerely hope that our friendship continues to develop and that I might also have the courage to further collide our worlds.  Whatever my future holds, it’s been an absolute privilege to have known and to have been known by MistressT, a refreshing counterpoint to the vast swaths of mostly vapid humanity.

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

Adventures in real life cuckolding…

About 10 days ago I posted that I wanted a real life cuckold that I could also financially Dominate. It seemed like a tall order but that’s never stopped me before.

I checked Craigslist for ads from guys looking for a cuckolding arrangement & responded to a few. Then I placed my own ad looking for a cuckold. I received an avalanche of responses. My inbox was filled with mostly rubbish. Guys who didn’t know what cuckolding was, guys who didn’t read my ad but were just responding to any woman, guys who said they didn’t want to be a cuckold but they’d like to be my bull, a bunch of predictable messages like “hey, wanna hook up tonight” & surprisingly few dick pics. I deleted about 90% of the emails.

Buried in the pile there were a few potentials. As I started narrowing down the applicants an interesting email rolled in from one of the ads I responded to. A rather blown away former slave of mine who had served me about 8 years ago. He happened to be looking for exactly what I was looking for & was amazed at his luck that I had responded to his ad. We’ll call him “NotBored” (because he complained about finding submissive women boring & his difficulties in finding truly Dominant women to hold his interest.)

NotBored met up with us last week for a bite & drinks. We all hit it off so set up another date. This time dinner at an upscale restaurant. Things went really well again & we headed back to my place for a night cap. It felt really comfortable. We were all in sync with what we were looking for in an intimate cuckolding arrangement….but we also got along really well otherwise. It was fun & easy hanging out.

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I decided to have a shower to freshen up, then rubbed coconut oil all over myself while my boyfriend sang & played his guitar for us. I loved teasing them both, seeing them squirm as they watched me. We headed to the candlelit bedroom. I told NotBored to sit on a chair beside the bed & watch. He wasn’t allowed to play with himself but he could take pics. I also ordered him to freshen my drink & to bring me water. Small, easy orders to follow but sometimes a little Domination foreplay is nice. My natural style is playfully bossy, seductively teasing with the slightest edge of coldness, an understanding that you don’t want to cross me. My personal slaves rarely test that.

So he watched while my lover & I made love. I teased “NotBored” a little…with what might be in time if he’s a very good boy. I got off on denying him an orgasm.

These are pics he took…you can see what he saw:

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It was a wonderful evening & I’m excited for what the future might hold. Hopefully a mutually enjoyable intimate connection, a friendship, sexual adventures & personal growth.

I am continuing my search as I don’t see why I can only have one cuckold, I could have several…but this is also a little “fuck you” to the two, yes TWO applicants who cancelled/chickened out at the last minute & didn’t even meet us. Your cowardice is beyond comprehension. I strive to live my life boldly, fearlessly, completely the opposite of your gutlessness & I’ve been rewarded. To the one who sent the $200 gift card to prove he was serious (but then chickened out anyway): dinner was delicious, thanks at least for that…but wow. I hope this blog post really tortures you with the realization of what you missed out on.

As for the rest of you drooling, envious cuckold hopefuls…if you are in Vancouver or are willing/able to come here on a regular basis (an ongoing relationship is what I’m looking for, not one-off sessions) feel free to apply. I love to feel appreciated & spoiled so you must be in a financial position to be generous. Distance cucks are also welcome to apply…to have a taste at least of something very special…but the arrangement will be different. Very heavy on the Financial Domination part & less interaction from us over skype/email. I prefer to reserve my energy for in-person connections.

xo

Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

Is Financial Domination contagious?

Mistress T

In my early days as a Professional Dominatrix before I started doing videos, I received an email from a guy in New York who offered to send me $100 on the spot just to speak with me on the phone for a few minutes. I found that strange & thrilling. I could hardly believe it when he actually sent the money. He was the first one to tell me about Financial Domination & said he was a pay pig. I had never heard of such a thing.

Over the years I’ve met with him several times & he’s spent a lot of money on me. One time he paid $1000 just to have me snowball my boyfriends cum into his mouth! My boyfriend & I literally skipped down the streets of Manhattan after bursting with joyful disbelief at what just happened.

He’s come & gone over the last decade but he’s certainly the most generous & the most authentic ‘pay pig’ I’ve had. I never really felt drawn to Financial Domination otherwise. I’m not materialistic, I’m not greedy & I didn’t have the patience to wade through the mountains of time-wasters most FinDom’s complain about. Maybe it’s my country upbringing & strong work ethic…but the idea of getting paid for nothing holds less appeal than getting paid well for something. No offense to the many amazing FinDom’s out there, some of which are my close friends. I just don’t seem to be wired that way, otherwise I suppose I would have attracted more authentic ‘pay pigs’ along the way.

But…recently I’ve been drawn to the idea of having a generous cuckold. I’m not sure where the idea started but lately I’ve desired a very specific kind of arrangement. A cuckold who I actually like & enjoy spending time with. One that I tease & deny, sometimes playfully. Fun tease & denial, not serious or mean denial. A cuckold who is into both mental and physical Domination.

Very key to my ideal fantasy is that the cuckold very genuinely loves to please me, loves to give me gifts, do nice things for me, pamper me & enhance my life. To be truly worshiped & adored, not just for my body but for my mind.

I’m financially secure. I don’t need a sugar daddy, I don’t need my rent paid & I don’t need to be rescued. I love to feel appreciated though & the right cuckold would be in the financial position to generously express his gratitude for the opportunity to be an important part of my life.

So…am I catching the Financial Domination bug? I have no interest in blackmail, in forcing a guy to pay me, in demanding payment or putting him on a payment schedule. Yet…I find the idea of being spoiled thrilling.

Recently I put a few pairs of new boots on my wish list, not for me, but for my boyfriend. I was absolutely thrilled when two different cuckolds got him new boots! That’s a new twist for me & I like it. So where do we go from here? Well, geography is going to be the biggest challenge followed by financial security. Finding the right cuckold in Vancouver might be tough. I’ll put it out there into the universe & we’ll see what happens *smile*.

Email: MsT@MistressT.net

xo

Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

Blast from the past…

Mistress T Schoolgirl

This is just a random story that you might find interesting…IF you are into “getting to know me more intimately”.

I recently had the opportunity to catch up with an old flame I haven’t seen in 23 years. We’ll call him ‘Thor’ because he’s a lot of man.

When I was around 16/17 year old I had a very unique three-way relationship with Thor & his best friend that lasted almost a year. They were six years older than me, straight but adventurous & we had multiple threesomes. We partied a lot together aside from having sex…and we were close friends. There was an amazing amount of respect & affection considering how tawdry it might sound.

I remember being in a car with them tearing down a dirt road with the music blasting (O Fortuna ~ Carmina Burana: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXFSK0ogeg4 ) smashing mailbox’s with a baseball bat. Hey, I came from a small, rural place & “mailboxing” is a thing that bored young people do. It was thrilling & I felt alive! We didn’t get into an accident that time but we did another time. The car was totaled but I was fine. We had a lot of crazy times. Lots of booze & drug fueled parties.

I was closer with Thor and if it had been a few years later who knows where it might have gone but it wasn’t & circumstances caused us to part ways. He wanted a family & I was too young. Way too young & not inclined that way. He got back with an ex he still had feeling for & I moved away. I didn’t stay in contact feeling it was for the best. Through the grapevine I heard he married her & had a couple kids. That’s about all I knew.

Fast forward 23 years. We recently met up & it was amazing to reconnect. Life has not been kind to him and it was an enormous pleasure for him to lay eyes on me again. Thor had tried to track me down over the years unsuccessfully & thought of me often. He & his friend had often said to each other: “I hope we didn’t mess that kid up.” I find that so incredible. Of course society could look at the situation & jump to all kinds of judgements…but I was there & I can tell you that my relationship with them was one of the highlights of my youth. It opened my mind up to the idea of different types of relationships beyond standard, traditional monogamy. I learned that sex could be dirty fun AND respectful. It was liberating & educational. I am very grateful for the experience & have nothing but warm memories and feelings of affection for both of them.

When I told him about the whole “Mistress T” thing he laughed & said he wasn’t the least bit surprised. He explained that even back then it was obvious I was a very ambitious, determined & motivated person. He knew I would do well at whatever I chose. He also said that I was one of the most sexual people he had ever met so he always wondered if I’d end up doing some kind of work in the adult industry. I have always had a high sex drive but in my teens it was a force to be reckoned with. Thor & his best friend were not my only lovers at that time (& I wasn’t their only lover). Another thing about bored young people in rural places: they tend to fuck like it’s a hobby. In our ‘group’ everyone fucked everybody else. It seems extreme thinking back on it now, how much sex we all had, but after reading about our hunter gatherer roots in “Sex At Dawn” I now understand our behavior was actually far more ‘natural’ than pairing bonding or abstinence.

There were moments with Thor where it felt like we were transported back to that time. When I looked into his smiling eyes he seemed the same. But in other moments I could see how our lives have gone in very different directions & 23 years of living changes a person a great deal. I wish I could bring a little bit of that ‘teen spirit’ back, that feeling of thrilling sexual freedom, of everything being new. What a magical time! They say youth is wasted on the young. What a bitter sweet truth. I’m reminded that every phase of our life has value & nostalgia will make us remember it fondly. I will endeavor to make the most of this phase of my life. The maturity, experience & security I’ve built up while still having the health & energy to fully enjoy it.

So there’s a little slice of personal stuff for fans who crave to know more about me:-)

xo

Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

My version of “FemDom”.

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The debate around what FemDom is or is not is one that seems to never get old. The concept of there being rules for being a proper Dominatrix actually seems rather humorous. To get nude or not, to wank a dick or not, to fuck your slaves or not, etc. It’s a big, wide topic that I’ll narrow to just me for now.

Over the last decade I’ve figured out what feels right for me. It’s been an interesting journey that continues to evolve. At times I’ve tried various things and then decided to not do them anymore. If you’ve been following be since the beginning you might have noticed that some video themes came & went.

When I get custom video requests I often go with my gut. I know by now what I’m going to be comfortable with for personal reasons or in terms of my ‘branding’. As far as my branding is concerned, I’ve spent years trying to do a simple thing: portray myself as a woman who is in control of her body & sexuality and who is also in control of the male’s I interact with.

For me, that is my simple version of FemDom. Female in control. That can take a lot of different forms. It can be sensual or subtle Domination in various roles. It doesn’t have to be linked to physical pain or dungeons.

So when I get requests to do vids where I am in any way objectified, not in full control, like I’m so horny I’ll do something I wouldn’t otherwise do, where a male is in the power role, etc. I know that it’s not right for me.

I feel that the vast majority of porn on the internet portrays women as submissive, weak, often degraded objects there for the pleasure of men. I don’t need to create any more content like that, there’s plenty. I’d like to try to balance things out by offering a different dynamic.

A lot of men want to give up control. They want a woman to initiate & to take her pleasure. They find confidence sexy.  Despite that, the tidal wave of mainstream porn, the music/film industry, media & advertising brainwashing everyone into thinking of women as objects is a powerful force. When so-called fans ask me to do typical mainstream porn acts like take it in the ass, have guys blow their loads on my face, in my mouth, on my tits, on my ass…why ask me for that? Isn’t the billion images on the internet of women doing that enough? Or is it specifically that I don’t that makes it appealing? The whole fucked up thing of persuading women to push their boundaries. A girl in a bikini will get asked to get naked. A naked girl will be asking to masturbate….then jerk a dick, then suck it, then fuck it…but that’s not enough…then she’ll be asked to take it in the ass, then a gang bang, and on and on…until she’s used up. This is exactly how it goes for the majority of women who get into the adult industry.

And I feel the pressure. I have felt it from day 1. The pressure to do more. How no matter what I did, guys always wanted more. Happily there are many loyal fans who love what I do & to them I am eternally grateful. Happily I am able to assert my boundaries & I actually take pleasure in saying: “No, I’m not going to do that.” I enjoy denying men when I sense they are part of the “more!” culture. The pushers. Those addicted to trying to get women to do things they don’t really want to do. There are so many of them & it’s become so accepted that guys don’t even realize it’s a problem…but hey you, if you’ve ever tried to persuade a woman to do something beyond what you think she’s comfortable with: fuck you.

If you want to see what it looks like when a woman is in control of her body & her sexuality study FemDom vids, mine & those in my network of peers. We’re not always perfect, sometimes we try things & they don’t work out like we thought, sometimes we can even seem hypocritical, we’re human, but overall the modeling in healthier. It’s a step closer to equality. FemDom isn’t about equality but it swings the pendulum far enough in the other direction from the usual that it puts a dent in the normalization of female objectification…& I’m happy to do my part.

Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

If I knew then what I know now…

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This blog post will likely not be titillating. That’s your fair warning if you were hoping for jerk off material. My vids are GREAT jerk off material, by the way:-)

Last night I hosted a focus group for a friend of mine who is planning to start an initiative for educating young women on sex issues. The purpose of the focus group was to find out what topics should be covered in more depth, to find out what young women want to know more about.

I was in attendance as a more experienced woman in the areas of sexual health, fetish/BDSM/kink, fetish parties, non-monogamy, consent, etc. I asked another mature female friend of mine to attend who has extensive knowledge in tantra, mindful masturbation, connection/intimacy, etc. (She’s well known for her tantra sessions, intimacy coaching, etc.: http://oliviajade.net/)

The conversation moved organically around a variety of topics: how to communicate with your lover about how you like to be touched & pleasured, dealing with lovers who have erectile dysfunction or low sex drive, tips on giving better blowjobs/handjobs, mutual masturbation, safer sex practices, how & where to get STI testing, where to get sex toys, sexual safety, consent & techniques to navigate date rape & non-violent sexual assault, helpful books to read, where to get fetish attire for fetish parties, birth control, how to teach a guy to clean his foreskin properly, learning how to have better orgasms, opening monogamous relationship up to include others, etiquette at sex parties or swinger parties, how to discuss your kinks or curiosities with a new partner…I deliberately just rattled off random topics because that’s how the conversation went, organically, naturally, moving from one topic to the next. We covered a lot of ground & in the end my friend got quite a few topic ideas that could be dedicated sessions.

In the beginning it was awkward but as we all became more comfortable & familiar I could see the value in this. Mature, more experienced women there to answer questions & give advice, younger women coming together & hearing each others questions, knowing that they aren’t alone or the only ones who have dealt with difficult situations or the only ones who don’t know certain things. The younger women were very appreciative of the opportunity & I’m a sucker for feeling appreciated. I for sure will be volunteering my home & myself for anything like this in the future.

I have been thinking for awhile of doing a series of non-pornographic vids for younger men. Vids that educate & help them to become better lovers & more intimately ‘connected’ to themselves. I would cover topics like masturbation techniques to prepare themselves for sex with another person, communication techniques to improve sex with another person, hygiene & grooming, consent/respect/compassion, understanding that most porn is entertainment not education/unlearning bad habits formed from watching porn, how to discuss your kinks with a new partner, etc. After last night I feel inspired to educate both young men & women. If I had known then what I know now! Well, I can help some of them get valuable info that will make their sex lives better, reduce anxiety, shame, confusion, etc.

If you have a topic you’d like me to cover in an educational vid please use the comments section here on my blog.

Best,
Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

POV vs. Voyeur?

Do you prefer porn where you are passively watching the action like a voyeur or when you feel more directly involved?

I was just contemplating POV (point-of-view) style filming, where the performer looks directly at the camera lens, connecting with the viewer, sometimes speaking directly to the viewer. Like in ‘virtual fucking’ where I’m alone with the camera but the angles give the viewer the feeling I’m riding his cock or face…or when there’s a stunt cock in the scene but the camera angle is set up basically where his head is so the viewer feels like the cock in the vid is his…or the view from where a cuckold might be, or a slave inside a cage, etc.

From "Cum Drinking Cock Sucking Sissy"

From “Cum Drinking Cock Sucking Sissy”

From a POV virtual fucking scene "MILF Sex Ed"

From a POV virtual fucking scene “MILF Sex Ed”

From "Mindblowing Handjob"

From “Mindblowing Handjob”

From "Foot Worship POV"

From “Foot Worship POV”

From "Latex Gloves Ruined Twice"

From “Latex Gloves Ruined Twice”

From "Beg For Release"

From “Beg For Release”

I was thinking about this in relation to some of the virtual reality filming I’ve done recently with HologirlsVR (www.HoloGirlsVR.com). Full virtual reality (with the goggles) is certainly more immersive but more on that another day.

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I understand a lot of my viewers have had little or no sex…or little or no kinky/FemDom/fetish experiences. It can be hard enough for some guys to get laid at all but even harder in the real world for guys to get to live out their niche fantasies. I realize that watching my vids & imagining they are right there or they are the guy in the scene is as close as many of my fans will get to a real experience…be it a cuckold experience, or real humiliation experience, or even foot worship!

Watching my vids is a safe, discreet way to get their kink on & in some situations it’s probably better than the real thing. One could argue that the thrill & fulfillment from an in-person experience can’t be matched but one could counter argue that real life seldom lives up to expectations. It really depends. It’s a gamble.

It’s certainly a lot more cost effective to jerk off to a $10 vid than to spend hundreds on an in-person session with a Professional Dominatrix, although if you have the money that’s certainly a better option than spending hundred of hours trawling dating sites trying to find a woman who is into the same kinks, lives near by & with whom you get along with otherwise.

With this in mind I put in a lot of effort to genuinely connect to my viewer. I know that this experience might be the closest they ever get to living out their fantasies. I try to make it as real as possible.

I wonder how this is different from just watching the action in a porn vid where the performers don’t look at the camera & don’t address the viewer. It’s very rare for me to do a scene like this. Even if I’m doing a scene with a guy I usually address the viewer at some point, even if it’s just making eye contact with the camera lens, to let the viewer know I know he’s watching. They call that “breaking the 4th wall” in movie-making & theater. Deadpool does a lot of that & even points it out. (Side note: LOVED the movie Deadpool!).

But it can pull you out of the fantasy. It was certainly a no-no to look at the camera during most filming traditionally.

So, I wonder how ‘voyeur’ style porn vs. “POV” style porn effects the sexual development of men, young & older? Would POV style porn better prepare a guy for the real thing? I wonder how a guys body responds to POV vs. voyeur style scenes? For example, when I put the goggles on to view VR (virtual reality) scenes & I looked up to see a woman standing over me my body had a very noticeable physical reaction. My body did not know there wasn’t a real person there. I automatically reached up to touch her & it felt like I could.

The voyeur aspect of just watching people having sex or doing a FemDom scene, ignoring the camera certainly has its place too. That’s a style of viewing we’re certainly more used to. It’s how most TV shows, movies & traditional porn is presented.

From "Your Cuckolding Vid"

From “Your Cuckolding Vid”

From "Ball Abuse Ass Tease"

From “Ball Abuse Ass Tease”

I’m curious to hear your thoughts on this topic. Please share your feedback in the comments area here on my blog so others can see & respond community-style (not on twitter or email, that doesn’t make sense really. Thanks!)

Best,
Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

Feeling grateful *smile*

My birthday celebrations are not over but I am feeling so grateful I just had to make a post today.

Yesterday was my 40th birthday & so many of you helped make my day awesome. It was a wonderfully blended day of my ‘work’ world enhancing my ‘personal’ world.

Cards from family, work peers/friends, films slaves & fans...all together:-)

Cards from family, work peers/friends, films slaves & fans…all together:-)

One of my film slaves popped by first thing to drop off a thoughtful & useful present. Then my boyfriend stopped in for a quick visit & brought a thoughtful surprise.

Then I went for a nice brunch with a close friend.

Brunch at the fabulous "Medina" YUM!

Brunch at the fabulous “Medina” YUM!

Then I spent the afternoon at the spa, using a gift card sent by a fan (thank you!).

My favorite spa, Miraj Hamman, where I am pampered, scrubbed & massaged.

My favorite spa, Miraj Hamman, where I am pampered, scrubbed & massaged.

Then I went for dinner & drinks with another close friend using a generous gift card from another fan.

Delicious food & outstanding cocktails at L'Abattoir

Delicious food & outstanding cocktails & L’Abattoir

I returned home to my thoughtful boyfriend who had baked my favorite birthday cake. He serenaded me & then took me to bed *wink*.

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I received this wonderful necklace that you’ll see in some of the pics. Thank you Dave! It’s hard to see in the pics but it’s a Fox holding a jewel in its mouth.

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The most overwhelming present I received was from my dear friends at The English Mansion. Sidonia Von Bork commissioned a portrait from the famous artist Sardax. He blogged about it here: https://sardaxart.wordpress.com/2016/04/29/portrait-of-mistress-t/

A pic of the portrait by Sardax & the home-made card by Sidonia Von Bork of The English Mansion

A pic of the portrait by Sardax & the home-made card by Sidonia Von Bork of The English Mansion

I am so honored & touched by this thoughtful & generous gift. My friendship with Sidonia Von Bork has meant so much to me. She is an amazing, fascinating person. I don’t even have the words…

My birthday celebrations continue tonight. I’m heading out with friends to a lively, sexy party where I’ll have a few drinks, dance a lot & who knows what else:-)

Then I will start chipping away at my list of 40 awesome things to do the year I’m 40. I plan to make this milestone year remarkable. Thanks to a sweet fan I already have a night at the symphony (on my list) planned for next week & a big concert (on my list) mid May. I have already started volunteering (which was one of the things on my list). I’ve been paired up with a nearly blind elderly lady for weekly walks. It may not seem like a huge thing, it’s not going to lead to world peace, but it means a lot to her & it feels good for me. It’s a start…& if everyone just did a little something for other people in need the world really would be a better place.

I have a bunch of other things to plan, hiking into hot springs, skydiving, paragliding, kayaking with Whales (ethically, at a respectful distance), finishing my book, random acts of kindness, converting a meat eater to vegetarianism (any volunteers who want help with that? Reduce animal cruelty, help the environment & improve your health!), learning Spanish, etc. I’m super excited about my 40th year!

Thanks again to everyone who sent birthday wishes & to everyone who supports the work that I love. It really means the world to me. BIG love! xoxoxoxo

Mistress T

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Mature Mentality

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I once heard this ‘joke’: A young bull & an old bull were on top of a hill looking down at a group of cows. The young bull excitedly said: “I’m going to run down there a fuck a cow!” & the older bull calmly responded: “I’m going to walk down & fuck them all.”

It’s funny, but it’s also a learning opportunity. I’ll get to it, but I’ll also share another interesting bit of info. The preferred client for a lot of sex workers, escorts & Pro Dommes, is middle aged men, not young, hot 20-somethings. Why do you think that is?

The title of this blog post is a hint. “Mature mentality” is what separates the men from the boys…but it’s not just an age thing. A 45 year old man can be cocky, disrespectful & annoying…and a 23 year old guy can be a complete gentleman…it’s just that cockiness tends to be more common for guys in their 20’s.

What does it mean to be cocky? Cockiness is a false confidence, it’s bragging or boasting about your good looks, how big your dick is, about how much sex you get, about how much money you make…it’s a sense of entitlement, that a woman should want you, that people should give you what you demand. It’s turning the focus on you, looking for reinforcement, it’s a hunger for recognition or power. It’s selfish & shallow.

A lot of older men will tell you that they were like that when they were younger. They think back on their 20 year old selves & laugh at how stupid they were but how much they thought they knew. They cringe at how they treated women.

Older men tend to be humble, they’ve made some mistakes and learned from them. They’ve learned through trial & error how to get a woman & how to please her…& it’s not about sex tips from Maxim…it’s about learning to listen to women, about turning the focus toward the woman rather than themselves. It’s unselfish. Often when women feel seen, heard, respected & cherished they then return ten fold what they received. Not always of course, there are selfish takers, but in general, older men find that they end up getting more in the end by giving more.

Young men tend to objectify women, see sex as a game with women as the opponents. Older men tend to appreciate connection & intimacy more. Again…there are exceptions on both ends but the reason I’m posting this it to encourage men who fall more into the ‘cocky’ column to rethink their perspective & actions. I encourage young men who tend to brag & boast to dial it back. Young men who think that they’re hot & that’s all it should take to get sex, to rethink that. If you’re the kind of guy who thinks sending an unsolicited dick pic to a woman is a good approach, you need to SERIOUSLY change your way of thinking.

I get emails every day from these kinds of guys. Boys in their 20’s who think that I should be falling over myself to take a session with them because they are good looking. These are the kinds of guys who would not respect my boundaries, who would think that once in the same room I would give in & let them fuck me. They think I would rather see them than a pudgy, balding 50 year old man. But I would take the mature, respectful, appreciative gentleman over the entitled, cocky kid any day.

You don’t have to be 50 to have that “mature mentality”. I’ve met guys in their 20’s that have it too. It’s a state of mind, it’s a way of living, it’s about coming from a place of humbleness, respectfulness, kindness, thoughtfulness & gratitude. These are not weaknesses, these are strengths. Imagine a great Knight who bows to his Queen. He is not weak or less than. He is strong and charming.

Food for thought:-)

Best,
Mistress T

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Sex Ed – Consent Is Sexy

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“Consent” has been in the news a lot lately. Mainstream porn can take a certain amount of blame for giving men the wrong ideas about consent. I’ve said it before but it’s worth repeating: porn is for entertainment, not education.

Consent is sexy guys…knowing that you have a full green light, a clear YES, that a woman wants you…that’s hot. Consent can be complicated though so get informed & level up on your man game.

I’ve just read this helpful article about consent that I’m going to share with you. It references “Club Eden” which is a classy, friendly sex club in he greater Vancouver area. You’ll find lots of other great posts there about swinging/non-monogamy plus useful sex advice. Check it out:

https://sexgetoverit.com/2016/03/05/getting-consent-in-a-sex-positive-environment/

xo

Mistress T

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