Top 3 Favorite Places

I just tweeted to my 46K followers that I’m taking requests for a blog post today. I quickly received a variety of topics but the one that stood out was this one from  :

I’d love to know if you have a top say 3 places to visit in the world. For either work or pleasure Mistress. Xx”
That seems appropriate considering that I am traveling right now (in Phoenix).
Before listing 3 places I’ll give you a bit of background, for those who don’t know me very well (yet).
I love to travel. I caught the travel bug at 18 when I took my first trip to Cancun, Mexico from Nova Scotia. I’d never been out of the province & never been in an airplane. It was a huge adventure & I was hooked. I started traveling every chance I could. I have now been all over Canada & the US, including a few trips to Hawaii. India (twice), Toyko, Thailand (5 times), Vietnam, Cambodia, Brazil, Argentina, Peru, Bali, Cuba, Belize, Mexico (4 times), England (8 times?), Paris (3 times), Amsterdam, Brussels, Italy, Berlin, Budapest, Greece…I think that’s all?
Most of the travel was on a shoestring budget/back packing. For example, I spent 3 weeks traveling around Cuba, staying in Cuban’s homes, not in a resort. I’ll give Cuba an honorable mention for the wonderful people & their sexy dancing: yum.




My #1 favorite place is Thailand. I like the warmth, I love the food, the people are friendly, the beaches are stunning, getting frequent Thai massages for around $10 agrees with me (everything is very affordable there) & it’s an easy/safe place to travel.


My #2 favorite place is Maui. Mostly because of Little Beach which is a gay-friendly, clothing-optional beach. Being naked in an open-minded setting is my happy place. The weather is also great in Maui. It is part of the US so it’s very civilized which for me is both a pro & a con. I enjoy experiencing different cultures so I find the familiarity both boring & a comfort. My only real complaint about beautiful Maui is that it tends to be a bit expensive.


My #3 favorite place is Paris. I find beaches more relaxing than cities but as far as cities go, it’s hard to beat Paris (although New York is pretty awesome too!). I love the architecture, the museums, the fashion…but most of all: the food! I dream of their fresh croissants, their cheese, their wine…it seems like everything tastes better in Paris. I also get a kick out of their surly & indifferent service. Servers in cafe’s & restaurants don’t work for tips so they don’t lay on syrupy sweet phony customer service. I enjoy the honesty of their indifference to me. It’s a refreshing change.


In writing this post I found myself remembering the positive things about all the places I’ve traveled. Sometimes it was the views, sometimes it was the architecture, the food, the people, the weather, the culture…sometimes the person I traveled with made the experience more or less enjoyable. Mostly though it was what I learned about myself through travel. For example, my own personal limits to discomfort, stress, unfamiliarity, etc. My ability (or inability) to maintain a positive attitude in challenging situations. I learned what I’m actually not that bothered by (I have a much higher tolerance for dirt when traveling, for example…I’ve slept on the floor of filthy trains in India, I’ve stayed in some pretty dodgy places all over the world, I am less bothered by my own personal hygiene when traveling & will wear cloths a lot more in between washing than I normally would…& I don’t care.)
I’ve learned to be more accepting of different people & different cultures. This is not an insignificant thing. It perhaps played into my being more accepting of people with a variety of fetishes & kinks.
I could go on & on about travel. A topic I am extremely passionate about. I’ve had amazing adventures & experiences. Feel free to ask questions in the comments section.

Relaxing in Phoenix…

I write this from sunny Phoenix in a comfortable apartment I rented for a couple of weeks. I’ll soon head out to the Jacuzzi & maybe take a swim in the heated pool. Not sure it’s hot enough for that today, we’ll see.

I can relax...see! :-)

I can relax…see! :-)

I’ve only been in Phoenix for a couple of days & I haven’t seen much yet. After moving around so much (7 places in 2 weeks!) I was ready to just chill, read, make love in the middle of the day, eat at home & sleep. I’m reading “Sex At Dawn” in case you’re interested…& I’ve been watching “Blacklist” on Netflix.

It was quite an action-packed 2 weeks. Lots of visits with friends, lots of beautiful terrain, discovering new places, etc. I filmed some fantastic content in Vegas with Slave Wade, who Lexi Sindel graciously loaned to me. Sharing is caring!

Poor Slave hard to hold off cumming with Lexi's & my feet taunting him...

Poor Slave Wade….so hard to hold off cumming with Lexi’s & my feet taunting him…

I almost had a session in Vegas but that didn’t work out at planned. I only accept the occasional generous booking these days & I always require a deposit. Any Pro Domme will tell you that guys who book sessions often flake out, cancel, chicken out, etc. It’s just part of the business. Even when they make a deposit they’ll often jam out but it does make those incidents less irritating.

So I accepted a booking with a deposit & arrived at the clients hotel early to enjoy the spa & to have a snack with my boyfriend in the cafe. A half an hour before the session the client emailed to say that he was so nervous he’d given himself an upset tummy so needed to cancel. I told him that he should at least come say hello & not miss the opportunity to meet me. He said he was on his way down.

I waited. I finished my food & paid. He hadn’t shown up. I emailed to say I was leaving & he said he was just too nervous to meet me. As I was leaving I saw a shifty guy looking at me funny. I paused long enough to give him a chance to say hello. He didn’t. I figured it was him but what was I to do? I walked away as he was emailing me to please come back & give him another chance. I didn’t but he sent more money for wasting my time.

What do you think about that?

Here’s a blast from the past. When I was a newbie Domme (nearly a decade ago) I used to go to cities like Calgary & do these crazy marathon work days. Holed up in a basic 3 star hotel room for a few days seeing 6-9 clients a day (1-2 hour sessions). I had a limited offering & hotel rooms were not equipped like dungeons so my sessions were often similar. Tying guys to beds or chairs, CBT/NT, sensory deprivation, golden showers, foot/boot worship and a whole lot of strap-on. I used to get reviewed on a popular review site & after one of these trips 3 different guys gave almost identical reviews. Oops. *smile*

Mistress T strap-on circa 2007

I did a whole lotta strap-on in my early days…

Those days are behind me. No more assembly line sessions. I take them when I’m in the mood, when I think I’ll enjoy someone & when the money is compelling enough. I confess, I get a rush out of being offered a lot of money for a little of my time & attention. Maybe there’s a bit of a Financial Domme in me after all?

So here I am in Phoenix, trying to set up filming in the next couple of weeks. I know I can only relax for so long before getting antsy. I thrive on being productive and I want to film. My happy place is in front of the camera. I have a couple of guys lined up this week but I don’t count my chickens until their hatched. I haven’t had as many applicants as I would have liked. Not yet anyway. Frankly, I’m surprised…although it seems that the more famous I become the more intimidated guys get. The nervous Vegas guy isn’t the first one to chicken out like that.

I’m just a nice, normal person in real life. I’m really fun to film with, nothing to be scared of.

Okay, maybe be a little scared:-)

Okay, maybe be a little scared:-)

After Phoenix we’re heading to Joshua Tree & Palm Springs for about 10 days then doing a faster road trip back up to Vancouver. Probably not stopping long enough anywhere on the way home to see anyone, but it’s a road trip after all, which allows more flexibility.

In other news, I’ve revived my Tumblr account & will start posting more on there…if you’re into that sort of thing?

Mistress T

Members site:

Road Trip so far…& shout out for film slaves in Phoenix!

This is a 2 parter…a bunch of pics from our road trip so far (2 weeks into a 6 or 7 week trip). Scroll down for details on Phoenix.

We visited Ceara Lynch in Portland!

We visited Ceara Lynch in Portland!

Ceara Lynch:

Visited Jack Hammer in San Francisco. Well-known bondage adult performer, Director of ...among other things:-)

Visited Jack Hammer in San Francisco. Well-known bondage adult performer, Director of …among other things:-)

Jack Hammer:

Stunning Laguna Beach

Stunning Laguna Beach

Lexi Sindel! Love this woman.

Lexi Sindel! Love this woman.

Lexi Sindel’s FemDom Empire:

Christian XXX - Super famous adult porn performer...currently creating the best TS porn on the internet: Pure TS

Christian XXX – Super famous adult porn performer…currently creating the best TS porn on the internet: Pure TS

Christian XXX’s Pure TS:

IMG_2628 IMG_2512


Those are my boyfriends hands…jealous?

Filming fun in Vegas... Lexi Sindel graciously loaned me her slave (Slave Wade)

Filming fun in Vegas… Lexi Sindel graciously loaned me her slave (Slave Wade)

Slave Wade’s twitter:

I managed to squeeze in some spa time in Vegas:-)

I managed to squeeze in some spa time in Vegas:-)

Went for tea with Lexi Sindel & Mina Thorne in Vegas!

Went for tea with Lexi Sindel & Mina Thorne in Vegas!

Mina Thorne:

We so Cirque Du Soleil's "O" in Vegas, it was fantastic!

We so Cirque Du Soleil’s “O” in Vegas, it was fantastic!

We’ll be in Phoenix the next 2-3 weeks. I am happy to film if I have the right fella’s to film with. Here’s what I’m interested in filming:

– FemDom/fetish hand job scenes: if you have a nice looking cock & you can cum from a hand job, you might be in luck. It’s easier to film if you don’t have a big tummy & aesthetically I prefer less body hair. Can be filmed from the waist down only (so I don’t care if you don’t want to show your face.) There’s a wide range of themes possible under this category from MILF scenes to glove or pantyhose fetish, orgasm control, ruined orgasm, therapist, etc. etc.

– Cuckolding with or without encouraged bi/cocksucking/creampie or cum eating: My guy is bi-flexible. If you think you’d make a good cuckold for a cuckolding scene or if you want to suck cock on my command, this might be right for you. How you look doesn’t actually matter in this case. Cuckolds come in a wide range of styles.

– Ballbusting: only for those who can really take it.

That’s probably about it but feel free to email if you think you would be valuable in some other way. I do not plan to film anything messy (no strap-on or toilet), no extreme pain stuff or anything loud like spanking.

I have zero patience for flakes these days so a $50 deposit will be required to show you are serious. This is an amazing opportunity to meet me & have a souvenir of your experience. There’s a reason why so many of my film slaves film with me over & over.

PRIVATE SESSIONS: I’m in Phoenix to relax & to film a little if the right guys come along. Private sessions or social sessions will only be considered for the very generous.



Mistress T

Members site:

Road trip!


This isn’t a big profound blog post, it’s just a slice of life.

I will soon embark on a road-trip adventure & I’m super excited about it. I’ve been preparing for awhile, working extra hard to be able to take the time off…although I will still work a bit during this trip.

I love road trips. I love the flexibility & spontaneity.

I’m excited about visiting Ceara Lynch in Portland, seeing Lexi Sindel in Vegas, hopefully Mina Thorne & Meggerz…along with some personal friends & fans. I’m excited about visiting familiar places that I know I love & discovering new places (like Joshua Tree & parts of Arizona).

I’ll be traveling with my honey. I didn’t make a formal announcement that I was no longer single, which maybe seems strange since I posted so much about being single for so long…but we met about 6 months ago & it’s been great. There are pro’s & con’s to being single or in a relationship. I don’t feel one is completely better than the other, they are just different. I’m sure many of you are curious & have questions but understand that I have healthy boundaries regarding how much of my private life I feel comfortable sharing publicly.


All that really matters to most of my fans is that I am happy & not planning to leave the business anytime in the foreseeable future *smile*.

So for the next 6-7 weeks I’ll be tweeting & blogging from the road. I’ll stay connected. Vids will still be going up on a regular basis, dontchya worry.

If you want to meet in one of the Western US states in the next couple months email me to discuss. I’m open to social meet ups, filming meet ups, possibly private sessions…in all cases if properly motivated. This isn’t a work “tour” where I’ll take a dozen 1 hour sessions from a hotel room. I’ll accept meetings from those who are generous & who appeal to me.

I know there are fans who like to spoil & cuckolds who like the idea of contributing to my trip (because I’ve already been contacted by a few who want to pick up the tab for hotel rooms, spa visits, restaurants, etc.)…I’m open to that. My honey & I have sent sexy pics of us to cuckolds who spoil us, for example. So if that floats your boat, reach out.


Mistress T

Members site:

The Online World…

Trending right now…Over the last 10 years professional violinist Mia Matsumiya has been collecting disturbing messages from guys. She’s recently released them all in a project to shine a spot light on the crap a lot of women have to deal with.

I had a glance at a few of her 1000 messages and felt..well, disturbed. Although I get tons & tons of weird emails it’s very rare for me to get anything hateful. The most disrespectful messages I’ve received have been via twitter where it’s easy to just block someone. I’ve probably blocked hundreds of guys over the years for small insults to the occasional threat of violence but I have become so accustomed to it that it doesn’t really bother me. That’s not actually okay, is it? That women online become acclimatized to disrespect or abuse & just accept it?

As a contribution to Mia’s efforts I’ll share the link to her project here as well as a few of the gems I’ve received. It’s important to point out that Mia Matsumiya is a musician. You would naturally expect that I would get more perverted messages as I am literally catering to that market, but women who are not in the adult industry get an obscene amount of sexual messages. That’s just become acceptable?

Here’s Mia Matsumiya’s perv_magnet instagram project that is getting all the attention:

Here’s her twitter feed:

Here’s a great interview with her:

Dazed did an interview with Mia. Here’s a quote from

“I want to start a dialogue by sharing, commiserating, and discussing these messages. I hope to make aware that this is the way some people – a lot of people – act behind their computers. (And often in real life too.) Personally, I don’t know any woman who hasn’t been the recipient of creepy behavior. It’s unacceptable and so depressingly rampant. I want my account to be a place where women can commiserate and men to just learn what women can experience online. I don’t know yet what can be done about it but I feel like the first step is definitely to shed light on the issue.”

Here’s a small random sampling from my inbox. These are NOT abusive or hateful but they give you an idea of what I read every day as part of my job. It gives you a glimpse into the minds of some men & a glimpse into the day-to-day reality of being an accessible online Domme/fetish porn performer. After years of reading repulsive requests from men I have surely become numb in some ways, my natural reactions of disgust being over-ridden, conditioned to not gag at the thought of a guy eating my snot or kicking a guy in the balls until they rupture:

Can i see youin thailnd ?
I want to spend one night with you.
1.booger & snot in my mouth.
2.hardsport (poo in my mouth and make me eat)
3.very stinky feet (I like to worship your feet while they are very smelly , salty & sweety)
4.faring in my face .
Please answer me completely with details and send me your rates.
contact me via email.
see you soon.”

“Yo, are you for real!!!  If you ever come to Evansville, Indiana you should hit me up.  I’ll do a video for you.  We recently had Ron Jeremy here and he was awesome at the porn debate.  So like I never did porn before but I only had sex with one girl my entire life and I’m only 30.  So like I hope u do get this so I can hear what u have to say so…. Take care and have a good day. Would love information on becoming a porn star please help”

“Do you wanna give me a session where you tie me up and kick me repeatedly in my balls and rupture them, so you make me infertile?”

“I’d like to be in one of your videos I’ve never done anal before but I want you to get up inside my ass”

“Hi Goddess, hi Queen.
I want a Goddess for marriage, for I to be slave 24/7 of the Goddess for worship all days.
I can lick all you body for massage for you relax all days. I can lick and smell: foot, sole foot, pussy, armpit, boobs, ass, thongs,… I can; facesitting, pony boy 2 or 4 legs or carruage, facespiting, faceslaping, drink you pee, drink you squirt, dogtrainning, wrestling she winer, servan for clean you house, you thongs and similars. You can user me for you girlfriends parties. I can to be you furniture for you relax you feet, ass,…I can eat as a dog, in your foot, you can pee in my menu and water,…You can put me you thongs in my face all day,…and moreI kiss and lick you feet of Queen”

“You can use my dick.”

“Hi goddess babydick slave here I love all your videos can you please own my premature ejaculating tiny Cock.”

“Dear Mistress T,
I was wondering if this request is possible. You have a terrible cold and have your male slave already tied up on a bed with duct tape on his mouth and his head off the edge of the bed. You hold his head so he can’t move and with your mouth really close to his nose you proceed to snort and hock up thick mucus-filled phlegm (forcing him to smell your hocking breath). With your mouth still close to his nose, you then slowly release the thick phlegmy loogie into his nostrils telling him to sniff your sickness.
Can this action be repeated throughout and can the video be shot at a close angle showing your beautiful face and the slaves nose?”

Mistress T

Members site:

Oh, the intrigue!


I recently received an email from a mysterious admirer. He explained that he had been a fan for years & with little notice found himself in Vancouver for a couple of days. He asked if I would join him for breakfast the next day at the restaurant at his hotel. He explained that discretion was paramount. He had created that email address for this one use & it would not be checked so if I was able to come just arrive at 11am & tell the hostess I was meeting a gentleman. If I was not able to join him he understood.

He also offered a generous ‘honorarium’ for the pleasure of my company & made it clear that he was only interested in conversation.

Naturally, I was intrigued.

I arrived at the opulent hotel, went to the restaurant, told the hostess I was meeting a gentleman, she said she was expecting me & guided me to a concealed booth tucked away in the back.

It was all so very cliche, it made me laugh.

I found myself sitting across from a man most of you would likely know. Awestruck, I tried to stay composed. I understand too well how uncomfortable fame can be. He was disarming, charming, a perfect gentleman. I soon forgot who I thought he was & got to know who he really is. He had been reading my blog for years & was more of a fan of that than my vids. He confessed that he really wasn’t into most of what I create. We talked about what he did like & more about what he didn’t understand. Why some men are into some of the more extreme things that I do. We talked about politics, he was amused at how passionate I am about Canadian & American politics…we talked about charities & he expressed his amazement at my Kiva micro-loan (for free porn) idea.

He told me that he has long had an interest in fetish literature & that the main reason he wanted to meet me was to encourage me to write a book. He felt that I had the skill & the experience to produce something so much better than the insulting rubbish of 50 Shades of Grey.

It was a wonderful meeting, one I’ll never forget.

With Canadian Thanksgiving just this past weekend I’d like to express my gratitude for my awesome life. For having the opportunities to meet very interesting people & have fascinating conversations. For having a business that gives me the flexibility to live my life however I want. I am grateful for the special people in my life, for my health, for living in a safe, clean place.

I am grateful to all of my supportive fans. You are a huge part of what makes my life awesome. Thank you.


Mistress T

Members site:


Western US Road Trip! (+ FREE fun vid)

Here’s a free, fun little vid to rub your nose in the fact that I get to hang out with some of the most famous & worshiped Goddesses in the world:

Click the link above this pic to see the free vid!

Lexi Sindel & Mistress T. Click the link above this pic to see the free vid!

I like to see you green with jealousy so I’ll let you know about the road trip I’m planning where I’ll be visiting some of my pals, including Ceara Lynch ( & Lexi Sindel (

In November & December I’ll be driving with my fella through Washington, Oregon, California, Nevada & Arizona. It’s mostly a fun, personal trip but I’ll be open to doing a bit of filming here & there. Possibly the occasional social visit with lucky fans. It is unlikely I’ll accept private bookings, it’s not really what this trip is about…but if you want to meet me send me an email & I’ll consider your request. I do enjoy meeting fans, especially for a meal & conversation. If you have a spare room or want to tribute for my accommodation that might endear you to me.

If you would like to be in my films, as a stunt cock for hand job vids or something else (in Vancouver this October or in the Western US in November/December 2015) please read this link carefully & send a clearly communicated film slave application: would normally be in the UK this time of year but since my last trip was so late I decided to do a different kind of trip this fall. Still, I’m sad to not see my UK friends this fall.

I love road trips! I’m looking forward to singing along to music while zipping down the highway or along windy, picturesque roads, eating at random road side diners, staying in quirky cheap motels, camping, hot springs, seeing friends & having adventures.

I’m also looking forward to meeting up with a few fans along the way, ones I’ve met before & new ones.



Mistress T

Members site:


Questions for a university psychology course.


A psychologist has asked me questions for a university course he’s teaching. I thought some of my fans might be interested in the answers so am making a blog post out of it.

1. How do you see domination fitting into normal human sexuality?

There is a wide spectrum of Domination in sexuality, from a subtle power exchange of one person initiating or being on top in a sexual position, to light bondage, role play, or harder impact play, spanking, paddling, etc. The specific activities aside, I think people often experience at least a subtle sense of being more submissive or more Dominant in a sexual encounter. That can be thrilling. To either be pursued & ‘taken’ enthusiastically or to be the one with more control in the situation. The spirit of that can make sex more exciting, even if in your own head you feel it without telling the other person, to use your imagination & pretend you are submitting or Dominating. For example, without thinking of “Domination” I’m sure a lot of women enjoy being on the bottom in the missionary position, which is in a sense, a submissive position.
2. What about you makes you popular with the men who are your fans? Are these things common to or possible in all dominant people (or people being dominant), or are they particular to you?

For me specifically there is a confidence that my fans seem to be drawn to. Confidence seems to go hand in hand with Dominance so I feel that quality is common in most or all Dominant people. I’d like to say that being perceptive/empathetic & intelligent are also valued by my fans but wouldn’t say those things are necessarily common to all Dominant people. Human sexuality is complex. Dominant people are just people who enjoy being in control. There are as many different types of Dominant people as there are fans or submissives with different tastes & interests.
3. How is what you do healthy for a person’s sexuality – yours or the sexuality of the fans?

This is a highly individual answer but I’ll answer with some examples. Some of my fans have secret fetishes that they do not feel comfortable sharing with their wives. Maybe they like to dress up in women’s lingerie or they have a foot fetish. Maybe their fetish developed after they were married and their wife just wouldn’t be understanding about it. Maybe they don’t even have sex anymore so she especially wouldn’t be interested in indulging his sexual interest. By watching my vids he gets an outlet. He gets to indulge in his fetish without cheating on his wife, or asking her to do something she’s not comfortable with. Maybe he doesn’t get to play out his fantasies exactly as he’d like to but he at least gets to let the pressure off. Have a little harmless fun.

Another example: Some of my fans are in control at work & home. The have a lot of responsibility/pressure/stress. Someone else being in control for even a few minutes is like a weight being lifted off of them. A mini-mental vacation. They can watch a 10 minute “masturbation instruction” vid where I tell them to stroke & ejaculate on command, maybe with a count down, like it’s a game and they are happy to just take orders from someone else for a little while. To escape their normal lives. After that they are refreshed, more relaxed & able to return to their normal lives a little lighter. It helps them be better boss’s, better parents, husbands, etc.

Yet another example: Sometimes my vids help men to be better lovers. Men with premature ejaculation issues can learn orgasm control through my vids.
4. Is there a line that you see where domination crosses into something unhealthy? If so, how would you describe where this could become unhealthy?

In extreme situations Domination could be associated with non-consensual sex, verbal or physical abuse/violence. There are people with mental health issues who Dominate in unhealthy ways…but mentally healthy people who enjoy incorporating Dom/sub play into their sex life usually have no desire to harm their partners beyond their limits. It’s important to learn to play safely, to respect boundaries, etc. The vast majority of people who engage in mild to wild Domination play do so in a healthy way, whether solo (masturbating to vids) or with partners. Even porn addiction isn’t that different from Netflix binging, Facebook or other social media addiction, video games, etc. Sexual pleasure is healthy, mentally & physically. However you find that pleasure among consenting adults is ALL GOOD.

(A side note about porn addiction: In mainstream porn young men can get the wrong idea about what real sex is like & essentially ‘train’ themselves to only be able to get hard & cum from this kind of stimulation. I don’t feel like Domination porn quite has the same effect but it’s possible that if a young man only ever masturbated to porn of women Dominating men he may have a difficult time adjusting to real life sex with a woman who is not Dominant. This would be more of an extreme situation. Ideally, watching porn would expose a person to a variety of scenarios & actually educate them, stimulate their creativity & help them to feel more comfortable with their sexuality.)
5. Is domination something that is consistent with your general personality (as your friends and loved ones in life have known you), or is it very different from the way you are in life on a day-to-day basis?

Mistress T is a persona…but is certainly close to who I am off screen. I have always been a naturally confident, self-assured person who likes to be in control. Not to the point of arrogance, bullying or an inability to allow someone else to take the lead. Day-to-day I am pretty relaxed & goofy.
6. Do you think that domination (or submission) is something that every person should try out, or is it an interest that only some people would probably have an interest in?

I think every person who feels like trying it, should. That doesn’t mean it’s for everyone. Most people, if they were very honest, would know instinctively whether they feel drawn to or curious about Dominating or submitting.  Some simply have no interest & that’s fine. As I said before, human sexuality is very complex. If every person you know could anonymously let you know what their sexual fantasies are I bet you would be hard pressed to figure out what ‘normal’ is. There is no so such thing. If we all wore t-shirts with our sexual fantasies written on them it would not be long before we all became more accepting & less shocked but what we think is ‘taboo’ or abnormal.
7. We have a wide range of students with a wide range of belief systems, from atheist to conservative Christian. Do you have a message to share with university students who are strongly Christian that may help them to approach, learn, and think about domination instead of just throwing it out and labeling it as immoral or wrong?

Do Christians think that Domination is immoral or wrong? Gosh, I didn’t realize. Do you mean they think God will judge them & they won’t get into heaven? I suppose if someone thinks sex is only for reproduction & not enjoyment then anything like this is going to be too far of a leap. Sorry, otherwise I just don’t quite understand how religion plays into this? I realize my moral compass might be a little fluid after all the years of depravity I’ve engaged in…but my opinion is that what happens between consenting adults in privacy is their business. If it feels good, do it. The world needs happy people & sexually satisfied people tend to be less stressed & in a better position to do Gods work/helping your fellow man, etc.

Satan is RIGHT behind me...isn't he?! He's already stolen my nose, I can feel it! So why am I still smiling?

Satan is RIGHT behind me…isn’t he?! He’s already stolen my nose, I can feel it! So why am I still smiling?

A note about Domination & sexuality. The book & movie 50 Shades of Grey started a lot of discussions about Domination. Those who are informed on Domination often criticize it for portraying things incorrectly. Some consider the scenario’s to be closer to abuse than safe, consensual Domination. Criticism aside it did put a spotlight on the undeniable fact that many people, especially women are curious or interested in Domination, kinky sex, BDSM, bondage, fetishes, role-play, etc. The internet has opened up the world of kink to those who may not have had access to information before. People are curious, they are asking questions, exploring & becoming more accepting. Those who judge & condemn other people for their sexual preferences are rightfully becoming the endangered species. Each of us has to live our own lives & we owe it to our 80 year old future selves to make the best of the years and not saddle ourselves with “what if’s”, “should have’s” & regrets. Be true to yourself.

Mistress T

Members site:

Screen Shot 2015-09-26 at 11.59.39 AM

Meeting fans in real life.

"Tell me more..."

“Tell me more…”

I was recently contacted by a fan who had been reading my blog for years & wanted to meet me in person but not for a session, just to talk. He valued my time so offered a respectable tribute. I love meeting fans in this way. I often use them as “muses” when filming vids as they usually represent the typical guy who watches my vids.

I arrived at the cafe a few minutes early, did a scan for him. I didn’t know what he looked like yet so I was at a slight disadvantage. No one seemed to get an instant boner or looked flushed so I got my tea & sat down. He approached me a moment later, shy but with a friendly face. It put me at ease.

We made small talk and I soon discovered that he had lived an interesting life as a real cuckold. His story fascinated me. He had met his wife in university & knew of her reputation for being promiscuous & cheating on her boyfriends. That didn’t deter him, it actually attracted him to her. He didn’t struggle with it even at a young age. He accepted that as a part of his sexuality.

He was turned on thinking about her being with other men...lots of other men...

He was turned on thinking about her being with other men…lots of other men…

They dated and quickly fell into a serious relationship. In many ways they had a normal, happy relationship. They even had a decent sex life but he knew she had a wild side & suspected she was straying. Eventually she stopped even attempting to keep her dalliances a secret as he never made a fuss about things she was sloppy about covering up. Their communication got better & she would tell him about her affairs, sharing details, even include him in different ways. He loved going down on her & occasionally having intercourse with her after she had been with someone else.

She developed a taste for black men & had a several black lovers. Eventually there was less & less intercourse between she & her cuckolded husband but their relationship was still good. The cuckolding was hot for both of them. He loved the idea of her getting satisfied by black men and developed a ‘fetish’ for black bulls along with her.

Black bulls & cuckolding go together like peas & carrots...

Black bulls & cuckolding go together like peas & carrots…

I know. This all sounds cliche & made up. He could have been lying to me but I believed him. I cross examined him & dug for more details. How he felt about this or that, etc. He simply gave me the facts.

This relationship lasted for quite a few years & eventually their marriage ended but he assured me that the reasons for divorce had nothing to do with the cuckolding part of their life.

I asked him what he was looking for from me and he replied that he wasn’t sure. He had taken a break from porn, sex & all fetish activities after the divorce for quite awhile. He had only been reading my blog. He felt connected to me in a cerebral way & simply wanted to connect with me in real life, with no expectations or plans. Just a chat. Just for the heck of it. When I asked how he felt about me writing about him in my blog he said he would find it thrilling. So here it is. What will happen next?

On the topic of meeting fans in real life I recently met with another fan & our encounter was interesting in a whole different way. He & I had done a cam session first. He was into humiliation so I verbally humiliated him while he did humiliating things like dressing up in women’s cloths, sucked a dildo, etc. He excitedly explained what a loser he was trying to get me to laugh at him. The laughing was what turned him on. He explained that he was still a virgin in his mid 20’s, that he fantasized about sucking cock all the time, etc.

Cam session antics...

Cam session antics…

The cam session went so well he requested a private session. I suggested we go for a bite to eat first to get acquainted in person. Over breakfast things took an unexpected turn. As he shared more & more details about his pathetic life I saw that this went beyond fantasy. This guy really needed to make some serious changes. That he was on a downward trajectory and I just couldn’t be a part of that.

I made it clear that his fetish for being humiliated was perfectly fine within the parameters of a fantasy but that outside of that he needed to not be a loser. I won’t go into details on specifically what changes I advised him to make but broadly they were pertaining to physical health as well as emotional health. Our meeting was a real boner-killer for him. He cried at one point. But not in the hot, humiliating way. The way you cry when you’re touched by someone’s kindness. Pretty much the last thing he expected or wanted to pay for but for christ sake, I have a conscience. I couldn’t take his money when I felt like I could make a positive difference in his life. He has written since that he is implementing some of the changes I recommended & he’s grateful for my help. Time will tell. I plan to keep tabs on him as I’m curious to see if I really did help or not.

A lot of people have fantasies & fetishes that they explore & play with in a healthy way. You can be a groveling, boot licking, piss drinking, cock sucking sissy bitch and ALSO be a strong, balanced, healthy, person with high self esteem. You don’t have to be a fucking loser 24/7. You don’t have to choose one or the other. Have your damn cake & eat it too.

Which brings me full circle to the first guy in this blog post. He had balanced a very normal & healthy life with his kink. Sure, he admitted he had had periods of slight obsession, where he indulged a little too heavily in cuckolding porn, no one is perfect…but he was otherwise very self-aware, emotionally healthy & “normal”.

Take care of yourselves, eh.


Mistress T

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Did I anticipate the perceptions?

How am I perceived?

How am I perceived?

I was lovingly asked recently: “How did you expect to be perceived by people before you got into this business?”. He asked the question because I often mention my frustration with stigma & judgement. How there are times when I lie about what I do to avoid that judgement, etc.

I thought about it for a moment before responding with the cliche statements of: “I didn’t really choose this work, it kind of chose me, so there wasn’t a lot of advance thought about other people’s perceptions.” Which is only partly true because my path to this work was not a straight line.

I first chose to moonlight from my vanilla job & sell tequila shooters naked on a hippie beach. I was not judged there, I was celebrated, supported & loved.

I was comfortable in my own skin...on a nude beach I felt at home.

I was comfortable in my own skin…on a nude beach I felt at home.

I then chose to try stripping but I was certainly aware of the stigmas attached to that profession. I wore a disguise, kept it secret & only did it briefly before going back to vanilla work again. I loved being a private dancer in a strip club. I did no-contact private dancing (so not lap dancing) & my sales experience helped me to be an effective hustler, selling guys dances. It was profitable & I was good at it but I felt like I was “too good” for it. Even I judged me!

I eventually went back to stripping after being miserable in my vanilla job. That led to creating my version of a voyeur show or peep show at home. Guys would come over & pay me to masturbate & talk dirty while they jerked off sitting on a chair by the bed, no touching allowed.

I loved the exhibitionism, the naughtiness & of course, the money. But I didn’t like the stigma. There wasn’t much difference between what I was doing & full-on escorting. I just wasn’t actually having intercourse or oral/manual sex…but it was similar enough I didn’t tell just anyone & when I did I was careful to make the distinction between what I was doing & “full service” prostitution. I magnified that fine line.

So during those career decisions, yes, I was fully aware of what people’s perception would be. But I was running from misery working in the vanilla world, office politics, the soul-sucking or mind-numbing reality of working for boring or stupid people & climbing the corporate ladder. I was a corporate whore in the vanilla world.

Climbing the corporate ladder was a soul-sucking experience for me.

Then Pro Domme work found me. I didn’t set out to be a Dominatrix. Certain clients saw it in me & requested kink & fetish activities. I indulged & eventually I started to get positively reviewed on forums as a Dominatrix & I grew into the role. Video work found me soon after. The rest is history. (That’s the Readers Digest version for this blog post, if you’ve read my blog from the beginning you know the long version of the story.)

In the beginning...I hid my face in my ads.

In the beginning…I hid my face in my ads.

If I had a thought in the early days it was that being a Dominatrix was more respectable than being a stripper or prostitute. It was cooler, intimidating , edgier. I felt bad ass. Nearly 10 years later I laugh at the “baby Domme” version of me. I have seen this ego trip many times with new Dommes. Every day I see different women in the adult business snubbing their nose at women who do different types of adult work. I’ve heard:

“I only do cam work, so I’m better than those dirty sluts who actually meet & touch those gross guys.”


“I’m a REAL Dominatrix who does real time sessions so I’m better than those fake girls who only do cam.”

I could go on & on, cam girls snub porn girls, escorts snub Dominatrix’s, stage dancers snub private dancers, phone sex girls snub cam girls, rub n’ tug girls snub escorts, Pro Dommes who don’t get naked snub those who do, etc. There’s a lot of support & camaraderie in the adult industry but there’s a fair share of cattiness too. A certain amount of stigma & judgement within our own industry!

I love what I do. Truly. Although I feel like this work found me I did make many small & big decisions before & since to put me on & keep me on this path. I haven’t loved the stigma. I’ve been evicted once (before I understood what my rights are) & had neighbors in another place attempt to get me evicted. I’ve had guys choose to not get into a relationship with me because of what I do. There’s certainly been a fair bit of whispering & gossip behind my back.


I have a lot of fun “at work”.

At the end of the day we live our lives for ourselves. We make decisions that serve us. If you try to please other people all the time you will fail.

All jobs have good & bad. I happen to have a job that I truly love but other people sometimes judge me for doing. A lot of people with “respectable” jobs hate going to work every day.  If I could go back 15 years & tell my younger self working in vanilla jobs I hated anything it would be to fearlessly go in the direction that instinctively felt right for me & ignore other people’s opinions.

That’s that advice I give myself every day now.


Mistress T

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