POV vs. Voyeur?

Do you prefer porn where you are passively watching the action like a voyeur or when you feel more directly involved?

I was just contemplating POV (point-of-view) style filming, where the performer looks directly at the camera lens, connecting with the viewer, sometimes speaking directly to the viewer. Like in ‘virtual fucking’ where I’m alone with the camera but the angles give the viewer the feeling I’m riding his cock or face…or when there’s a stunt cock in the scene but the camera angle is set up basically where his head is so the viewer feels like the cock in the vid is his…or the view from where a cuckold might be, or a slave inside a cage, etc.

From "Cum Drinking Cock Sucking Sissy"

From “Cum Drinking Cock Sucking Sissy”

From a POV virtual fucking scene "MILF Sex Ed"

From a POV virtual fucking scene “MILF Sex Ed”

From "Mindblowing Handjob"

From “Mindblowing Handjob”

From "Foot Worship POV"

From “Foot Worship POV”

From "Latex Gloves Ruined Twice"

From “Latex Gloves Ruined Twice”

From "Beg For Release"

From “Beg For Release”

I was thinking about this in relation to some of the virtual reality filming I’ve done recently with HologirlsVR (www.HoloGirlsVR.com). Full virtual reality (with the goggles) is certainly more immersive but more on that another day.

hologirls_banner_screenshot

I understand a lot of my viewers have had little or no sex…or little or no kinky/FemDom/fetish experiences. It can be hard enough for some guys to get laid at all but even harder in the real world for guys to get to live out their niche fantasies. I realize that watching my vids & imagining they are right there or they are the guy in the scene is as close as many of my fans will get to a real experience…be it a cuckold experience, or real humiliation experience, or even foot worship!

Watching my vids is a safe, discreet way to get their kink on & in some situations it’s probably better than the real thing. One could argue that the thrill & fulfillment from an in-person experience can’t be matched but one could counter argue that real life seldom lives up to expectations. It really depends. It’s a gamble.

It’s certainly a lot more cost effective to jerk off to a $10 vid than to spend hundreds on an in-person session with a Professional Dominatrix, although if you have the money that’s certainly a better option than spending hundred of hours trawling dating sites trying to find a woman who is into the same kinks, lives near by & with whom you get along with otherwise.

With this in mind I put in a lot of effort to genuinely connect to my viewer. I know that this experience might be the closest they ever get to living out their fantasies. I try to make it as real as possible.

I wonder how this is different from just watching the action in a porn vid where the performers don’t look at the camera & don’t address the viewer. It’s very rare for me to do a scene like this. Even if I’m doing a scene with a guy I usually address the viewer at some point, even if it’s just making eye contact with the camera lens, to let the viewer know I know he’s watching. They call that “breaking the 4th wall” in movie-making & theater. Deadpool does a lot of that & even points it out. (Side note: LOVED the movie Deadpool!).

But it can pull you out of the fantasy. It was certainly a no-no to look at the camera during most filming traditionally.

So, I wonder how ‘voyeur’ style porn vs. “POV” style porn effects the sexual development of men, young & older? Would POV style porn better prepare a guy for the real thing? I wonder how a guys body responds to POV vs. voyeur style scenes? For example, when I put the goggles on to view VR (virtual reality) scenes & I looked up to see a woman standing over me my body had a very noticeable physical reaction. My body did not know there wasn’t a real person there. I automatically reached up to touch her & it felt like I could.

The voyeur aspect of just watching people having sex or doing a FemDom scene, ignoring the camera certainly has its place too. That’s a style of viewing we’re certainly more used to. It’s how most TV shows, movies & traditional porn is presented.

From "Your Cuckolding Vid"

From “Your Cuckolding Vid”

From "Ball Abuse Ass Tease"

From “Ball Abuse Ass Tease”

I’m curious to hear your thoughts on this topic. Please share your feedback in the comments area here on my blog so others can see & respond community-style (not on twitter or email, that doesn’t make sense really. Thanks!)

Best,
Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
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Afternoon Delight

I had such grand plans today. I was going to film some sexy stuff with a new fella I’ve been intimate with, I was going to run errands, check things off my to-do list, be productive…

The day started with the fella letting me know he was still feeling a bit under the weather & maybe today wasn’t the best for filming. No problem! I decided to edit a vid I filmed yesterday entitled: Secret SizeQueen Therapist. It’s a solo vid where I play a therapist speaking to a guy who has small penis issues. At first I tell him that women don’t care about size, it’s more about chemistry, etc, etc…eventually (over two sessions) I get him to show me his penis and I eventually reveal my personal preference for big cocks. It’s a small penis humiliation vid with a masturbation instruction that gets quite hot with me going on and on about fucking thick cocks…So, I’m watching the vid, seeing my face say these things, knowing exactly WHO & WHAT I was thinking of when I filmed this vid…remembering how much I had enjoyed that special thick cock…and a funny thing happened: I started to get really horny.

Now it’s not unheard of for me to get horny editing my own porn movies. This line of work attracts narcissists. But I was a little shocked at how VERY horny I was, it took me by surprise.

I texted the fella: “Fuck I’m horny. I should have just come over & raped ur cock anyway.”

His (predictable) response: “Come over. Come now. Let’s fuck. Now. Hurry.”

I kicked my roomie out of the washroom, showered, brushed my teeth, threw on some cloths and called a cab.

Sitting in the cab I could feel the pulse in my pussy. Where had this level of arousal come from all of a sudden? I felt like a 16 year old boy. All the while the filthy text messages were pouring in. Things that a lady can’t repeat in a somewhat dignified blog (does this blog have any dignity left?). He was fanning the flames with dirty talk. The cab driver was trying to be chatty but I didn’t want him to harsh my buzz so I was curt…then “I need a hero” came on the radio. Click this link if you’d like to listen to it to add a new dimension to your blog reading experience: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBwS66EBUcY I laughed and asked him to turn it up. I tried to not notice the taxi driver bopping along to it.

I arrived. I didn’t knock, just walked in and into his arms. He picked me up and carried me to the bed where I was stripped and fucked for hours. Fucked well. He poured affection on me, telling me how perfect I am.

Let me be clear: this is not love. Not like the romantic kind you see in chick flicks anyway. This is mutual respect and two people fucking for the sake of fucking. Sure, there’s a lot of affection & cuddling, but we fuck, we don’t make love.

It was just what I needed. The kind of sex that satisfies yet leaves you wanting more.

Then he made me a nice dinner and I went to yoga.

On my walk home I passed a couple things I took pictures of. (See below)

I decided to not add super sexy pics to this blog entry, especially not pics of me fucking other men which just seems wrong in this case. Soon enough you should see him appearing in some of my vids anyway.

I’ve also included the images for the vid that got all this started.

It may not have been the most productive day but I think that fucking, eating & yoga is a very decent diversion.

Last thing, as the cherry on top of my day when I got home I found a funny note from my roomie. I’ve attached that below too.

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
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Patti Smith: "Never let go of that fiery sadness called desire."

Patti Smith: "Never let go of that fiery sadness called desire."

Pierre Trudeau: "There's no place for the state in the bedrooms of the nation."

Naked Party!

 

 

The vid that got me so horny today..."Secret SizeQueen Therapist"

Exhibitionist

Before I begin, I’ll point out that I’ve added a ‘subscribe’ box at the bottom of this page. You can subscribe and get an email notification when I add a new entry. I’m new to blogging so if anyone has tips or advice please send them to: MsT@MistressT.net

 

In my last entry I mentioned that I had saved up enough for the down payment for a condo but qualifying for a mortgage was another story. I needed to get a job that looked good to the bank. It was back to office work for me. I’ll tell you in advance that this was the last office job I had and it lasted just over 1 year even though I only needed to work there for a few months to qualify for a mortgage and buy my condo. I hated it, so why did I stay? I can’t answer that, fear I suppose. Since meeting that beach boy on the nude beach years before I had struggled to follow a path not taken. I was afraid of course, of not having a regular pay check and all the security that comes from working for other people. Let me tell you, do not take entrepreneurs for granite. It takes a certain bravery to do your own thing.

About a year into that job a new manager offered me a generous promotion. The new position would mean more time spent doing the job tasks I hated the most. It was a big step up but it hit me all at once how miserable I was. I turned it down and two weeks later I was fired. They said that although they’d love to have me stay they could tell I wasn’t happy and they were doing me a favor by giving me the push I needed to find what would make me happy.

I still resent that that’s how my office career ended. I wish I could say that it was me who was so self aware and brave that I made that decision. Instead, I was cowardly enough to stay at a job I hated until someone else shoved me out of the nest toward my destiny.

I bought another wig and called an agent. My first gig was on a slow Sunday night and I thought I would just be doing private dances. There had been a miscommunication and I was actually expected to do three stage shows that night. I had never danced on stage before. I didn’t have costumes, music or moves. The DJ helped me with the music and if you’d like a soundtrack to read this post to, this is the first song I danced on stage to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=htNMqbDXAPg  Global Deejay’s The Sound of San Francisco. I stripped on stage in front of four sleepy patrons with my heart pounding in my chest. I loved it.

I starting working more full time at the friendliest and safest club in town. I liked it there and did private dances plus stage shows for a few months. I was dating a nice guy who is still one of my best friends. I was happy.

It was around that time that I formally met Samantha Mack. We had met informally months earlier, by that I mean we smooched at a fetish party but didn’t trade contact info. When she showed up to work at the club one night I thought I recognized her but it took a few days for me to speak up. We became fast friends and then lovers. Samantha eventually becomes a more prominent character in my story.

I’ll take a pause here to shamelessly promote Samantha as she is still a close friend and involved in lots of interesting things, including raising money for breast cancer research, being an advocate for the gay community, etc. etc. Check out her website: http://www.thesamanthamack.com

I got the travel bug again and went to Brazil and Argentina for two months. When I returned something had changed with my boyfriend and our relationship had become more of a friendship. I found myself looking for excitement. I went on Craigslist under ‘Casual Encounters’ (I had never done this before and am not even sure how I got the idea) and I found an ad that intrigued me. A man was looking for a nude house cleaner. Light housework, more for the voyeur aspect, no touching, paid. I know it sounds crazy, risky and even stupid, but it was thrilling. Remember, I am an exhibitionist first, almost everything else follows that. I went and it was just as he said. I cleaned the windows of his highrise apartment where anyone in other buildings could see me. He sat, clothed, reading a magazine and casually glancing at me. I then vacuumed in the nude and worked up a bit of a sweat. I loved it. He paid me then and said I was free to go. I asked if I could shower first, he asked if he could watch. That was fun, I put on a bit of a show for him in the shower, he paid me more. He then asked if it would be okay if he took a very close up photo of my vagina, only my vagina, not my face. I said yes. He paid me more. Then he asked if it would be okay for him to sit on a chair beside the bed and masturbate while I played with myself. He offered more money and frankly, the combination of the exhibitionism AND getting paid was so erotic that I climaxed quickly and with shocking intensity.

I went straight home and placed an ad for nude housecleaning with masturbation show. This was one of the most important events in my history. I started doing no-contact ‘voyeur shows’…I never cleaned another house although I pretended to clean a spotless yacht once. There was a huge market for this! Men who were looking for a bit of dirty fun, a bit of excitement but for one reason or another, they didn’t want sexual contact. Some had never been with an escort and would be too nervous to perform. Others didn’t want to feel like they were cheating on their partners and this felt okay to them. Some had erectile dysfunction. Some were so paranoid about sexually transmitted infections that no-contact worked better for them…and other reasons. I was skilled with the dirty talk. I have a filthy imagination and with just a few questions I could figure out how to push any man’s buttons verbally. They sat on a chair beside the bed and got themselves off watching and listening to me. I loved the power of it. I was in complete control.

Word got out on the internet and a gentleman who wanted to write a review asked what my stage name was. I didn’t really have one so he chose ‘Miss T’ and unfortunately it stuck and I became famous before I could figure out something better. I took as many bookings as I could handle and still turned away business every day. I had loads of positive experiences and met the most wonderful men. Was it safe? Well, nothing bad ever happened while I was doing ‘voyeur shows’. It seemed to attract a gentle, respectful type of man. I became friends with quite a few. They would take me for nice dinners, bring me thoughtful gifts, etc. It was less complicated back then and part of me wishes I could go back to that time but alas, even as content as I was, when the thrill started to wear off I started to look for the next rush…

Mistress T nude with boots

Probably taken after an orgasm...I look pretty happy!

More fun in San Francisco…

I kept in touch with the male Dom who I met at The Power Exchange…he who flogged me first. He invited me to come back and I can resist anything except temptation.

On one trip I brought my boyfriend at the time. This turned out to be a poor choice but a worthwhile learning experience, but I’ll get to that. First I’ll tell you about meeting the famous “Midori” ( www.planetmidori.com ) Among other things, she’s known for being the author of “The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage”. She was doing a rope bondage stage performance at a big fetish bash and I had the opportunity to help out behind the scenes body painting some of her victims/models. I got to meet her and received a signed copy of her recent CD of erotic stories. She was lovely and it was a thrill meeting someone so well known in the fetish community.

During this event I also had an opportunity to ‘bottom’ under some very talented Doms. I loved being strung up in front of a crowd. I was spanked, flogged and experimented on (electro-play, etc.). To be honest, I didn’t care for the acts (other than flogging) as much as I loved being watched.

I had been having my fun, checking in with my boyfriend from time-to-time. It was a big party, he was wandering off and coming back and I thought he was having a good time. I was deep in ‘sub space’ being flogged in front of a large crowd when I caught his eye and noticed something was off. I went up to him and asked. Things were NOT okay. He had just had enough of watching me ‘getting beaten’. He looked disgusted. People were watching us talk, they could read the situation. I was humiliated and ashamed. I felt like a freak for enjoying myself. I felt selfish for not realizing he wasn’t having fun. I was emotionally vulnerable after hours of ‘play and excitement’. It was like being dropped from a 10 story building. I just broke down.

That was about 10 years ago and I was not then who I am today. Now, at 35 I would likely not get myself into such a situation and if I did, I would react differently. Then, however, it was crushing. I cried in the cab all the way back to the hotel and cried all night. He did not try to comfort me. I felt like a disgusting human being for being into kinky stuff.

Obviously, we didn’t stay together, but that doesn’t even matter. The important lesson I learned was about emotion and the vulnerability of  ‘sub space’. It helped me later on to be a good Domme.

My journey in learning to accept my kinky side has not been a straight path. I had my set backs and uphill battles. Maybe you, my reader, have similar stories? I invite you to comment here if you like. I know I’m not alone in my love of kink anymore…you are not alone either *smile*.

MistressT Fetish Goddess

Vulnerable

 

BDSM beginnings…

While I was working as a receptionist at that big company in my early 20’s a coworker introduced me to an interesting website. I think it was called “Bianca’s Woods” or something like that. It was a place where people could write sexy stories and post them for others to read.

Most of the stories were the usual sort of thing but one story really caught my attention. It was a long story written from a woman’s perspective. She needed work and took a job as a maid/servant in a fancy mansion. She sensed something was unusual there but couldn’t place it. When she finally met the owner of the house and her real boss she was so nervous she spilled his drink. He took her over his knee and spanked her. What followed was a slippery slope of events that climaxed in a very intense scene…she was prepared, presented, strung up, stimulated, and fucked by a group of people. The interesting part was that it was all written from HER perspective, and it was very consensual. The reader could ride the emotional roller coaster with her, her shame, her wrestling with this side of herself, her giving into it, etc. There were various elements of BDSM, electro stimulation, pain & pleasure and in the end, even a dog!

The same author wrote other stories, all from the woman’s perspective. Her struggle with giving herself, submitting.

I found this theme very exciting. Submission. Control. Domination. Pain & pleasure. I wanted to explore but I didn’t know how…but just like most, I found my way, didn’t I? *grin*

A couple years later I was in San Fransisco with a platonic male friend. I asked the concierge at our hotel to recommend a place that would blow my mind. All I wanted was an address, no other info. We ended up at ‘The Power Exchange”. If you’re familiar with this place now, understand that it was very different 12 or 13 years ago when I first went. I’ll describe it:

The Power Exchange was a live sex/BDSM kink club. The first room we walked into, hearing loud music coming from somewhere beyond, was a medieval themed room with a big wooden table & fireplace…and a huge viking looking man flogging a women tied to a cross…her male partner on the other side of the cross kissing her and stimulating her front. It was a powerful introduction and I watched in awe for the first time, someone being flogged and whipped. Each time she was struck her body moved so beautifully.

We continued on and each room we entered offered more to overload my senses. Cages, peep holes, a room full of TV’s playing porn movies, people masturbating, people fucking, people watching, people being Dominated…a women lying on a bed with about a dozen men fondling her…eventually we came across a scene that many others were watching. A beautiful woman was tied to a cross being punished by a somewhat mean looking man dressed all in leather. She was instructed to explain to the crowd why she was being punished: she had burnt his toast that morning. A rumble of laughter went through the crowd and I smiled too. That’s when he looked directly at me and asked if I wanted to come into the scene.

I didn’t even turn to look at my poor, freaked out friend, I just slide under the chain and into their space. They both quickly explained that this was all consensual, explained safe words, etc. He handed me a vibrator and instructed me to touch it to the cloths pegs that were attached all over her nipples, breasts and pussy. I loved the way she reacted. She was very animated & vocal. She kept looking me in the eye and smiling between screams of pain. He then put a rubber glove on my hand, lubed me up and instructed me to fist her. I did and it was like having the whole world in my hand. By now the crowd had grown to dozens, all watching the naive newbie play in public for the first time. I must have been quite the sight.

I realize at this point I have your full attention but I also understand that attention spans are short these days so I will leave it there for now and continue later. There is more, oh-so-much more *grin*.

MistressT Femdom Fetish Goddess in red & black

Decending into the depths of depraivity