Tales from rural Nova Scotia

As I write this I am jetlegged & trying to make good use of my time, being wide awake after only a few hours sleep. I returned home a days ago (to Vancouver) from Nova Scotia where I was visiting family. I thought I would share some of my family experiences from this visit.

My family knows what I do for a living. Some know more, some know less. Each of them has a different level of understanding and it can make for some awkward conversation.

I’ve always been pretty ‘together’. I’ve never been pregnant, which means I didn’t get knocked up as a teen. That counts for a lot where I come from. I’ve never been in an abusive relationship or had a drug or drinking problem. I’ve always been financially secure, I put myself through school, bought real estate at 29, traveled the world, never been in trouble with the law, etc. So my family can’t really ‘knock’ my life choices. I’ve made out better than most and I’ve done it on my own without any family financial support.

A few years ago when I told them I had stripped for a little while before becoming a Dominatrix they listened without saying much. Then as that evolved into the video business most did not ask too many questions. In fact, my grandmothers are particularly careful to not ask me any questions they’d rather not hear the answers to. I lie to my grandmothers friends and tell them I make wedding video’s, etc. I choose to not embarrass my conservative, religious grandmother with the scandal & gossip.

My father, bless his heart, does not want to know details but prefers to go off half-cocked bragging to his friends about his successful daughter. My most awkward experience of the trip was meeting a friend of his…an older man with no teeth who started the conversation with: “So you do that dancing up and down the pole, eh?”. I carefully explained that I spent about a year dancing 5-6 years ago but I haven’t done that for awhile…hoping we could move the conversation to something else but no. He then said leeringly: “So you’re into the pictures now?” Fuck. I could have strangled my father for putting me in such an awkward position. I just changed the subject without answering.

In the car I asked dad what he had told his friends and why? He explained that he had no judgement about what I do, he’s proud of me, and his friends are pretty open minded. Heck, that toothless friend had often gone to the city to pick up hookers. No shit, eh?

I have one nosy aunt who enjoys watching people squirm by asking personal questions. I was ready for her and decided that she would get detailed answers whether she really wanted them or not. She started with: “Aren’t you scared one of those crazy guys is going to hurt you?” I asked her what she meant by crazy? She figured that anyone who was into fetishes and BDSM wasn’t right in the head. I explained that people with alternative sexual interests are as sane as anyone else. Wanting to lick feet, for example, doesn’t mean you’re dangerously nuts. I talked about homosexuality because I know she has gay friends. I said there was a time when many thought being gay was wrong & unnatural. Now that’s mostly acceptable. I said in the future those with fetishes will be more accepted too. She surprised me by changing gears and asking me to explain more so she could understand and be more open-minded. That was pretty awesome.

My mother especially loves what I do. She’s a very liberal woman. She raised me to be strong and independent. She sees strength in using sexuality to get ahead in life. She gets the words mixed up though and calls me a Doministrix (combining Dominatrix with Mistress). I find it adorable every time she says it and I don’t bother correcting her.

My step-father has always been a business man and he spends hours grilling me about the business end of things. He offers advice, anything regarding insurance, legal stuff, taxes and tries to brainstorm new business ideas with me. He is concerned about my future, as am I. How long will my looks last? I will still have a lot of years to live after I no longer look good enough to be in front of the camera. As carefully as I save and invest I need a better long term plan. I had a career in sales & marketing before I started in the ‘adult’ world, so I’m sure I’ll be fine but at this point the long term plan is a little uncertain. Then again, who has a crystal ball?

I did a few different things while in Nova Scotia. My father wanted to show me off to all of his friends so I went to not one, not two but THREE jam nights. Jam nights are where a group of amateur musicians and singers get together and play in front of a group of people. The events are held in little community halls around rural NS nearly every night of the week. Pretty much everyone has grey hair and many are in their 70’s & 80’s. The music tends to be 40’s country, draggy, sad love songs played a little slower than they were originally meant to be played. Most of the singers are not talented. One night there was dancing. Just the 2 step though, no disco here. I was even asked to dance by one keen senior gentleman and I struggled through the two step with my cheeks burning in embarrassment. I’m really not a great dancer. He came back a few times and asked me again but I declined.

As painful as I found these ‘jam nights’ I realized how wonderful they are for those who attended. For many of them the alternative would be to just sit home and watch TV. They look forward to the socializing and hearing songs that are comfortingly familiar. It made me think a lot about what my golden years may be like. Especially since I’ve chosen to not have children, so there won’t be grandchildren around either. I hope to live some place warm with friends who I cherish. Maybe I’ll introduce naked co-ed bingo & shuffle board at the seniors center…

I also went on a 1 day bus trip with some seniors and attended a breakfast fundraiser with my grandmother. The pace is certainly a lot slower in rural Nova Scotia. The weather is a frequent topic of conversation. People read the obituaries daily because everyone knows everyone. I grew up there but never felt like I belonged there. I’m like an alien to them, with my crazy lifestyle, all the traveling and my lack of interest in settling down with a family. I love my life as it is. My soul would wither and die there.

Here’s a few random pics from my trip:

They loves their lobster in NS: now with BLING!

Scarf my mom hand-knit me (with love!)

In my grandparents 200 yr old farmhouse

My grandparents 200 year old farm in rural Nova ScotiaIn my grandparents 200 yr old farmhouseScarf my mom hand-knit me (with love!)They loves their lobster in NS: now with BLING!

LA, Maui & beyond…

I’ve just returned to civilization after being in the county with family for several days. When was the last time you went several days without internet? It made me realize how very addicted I am to the computer, twitter, email, etc.

I might do a blog post about my family adventures this week…I’ll decide later. For now, I have pictures to share from my shoot with MeanBitches in LA! (See below).

Also, my first shoot with Kink.com / Divine Btiches came out this week. See pics, the trailer and forum comments here: http://www.divinebitches.com/site/shoot/16660-Mistress-T-Is-What-You-Crave.html

The pics below are from my shoot with the talented director ‘Glenn’ from MeanBitches/MeanDungeon/MeanWorld. It was a great day with a team that operated like a well oiled machine. Brooke Haven, Glenn’s fantastic Production Assistant picked me up from my hotel & got me set up with the hair & make-up lady who did a professional job (although again, heavier make-up than I’m used to). The slave was a dream to work with. Very easy going with a great sense of humor. The shoot was a lot of fun.

A couple of days later I spent the night at Lexi Sindel’s FemDom Empire (lexisindel.com). Along with Mina Thorne (clips4sale37562), Deviant Kade & Lexi’s useful slave we pounded out a record breaking ten scenes in one evening! (See pics below)

The next morning I flew to Maui where I spent a relaxing week with friends. (See pics below)

I am now in Nova Scotia visiting family (now in a place WITH internet!). I will likely return to Vancouver later this week. (A rolling stone gathers no moss, right?)

Follow me on twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet
Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869

MeanBitches shoot in LA - A very animated slave!

MeanBitches shoot in LA - a boot cleaning chair? Awesome.

On MeanBitches set in LA

Lexi Sindel, Mina Thorne & I (what slave?)

Lexi Sindel & I (what slave?)

Maui Sunset

Live hard, die young.

Naked snorkeling rocks!

Safety 1st! (Me preparing to snorkel in Maui with fun floaty.)

My Porn Can Be Therapeautic

I know some of you are expecting a post about my recent trip to LA. They say patience is a virtue…you’ll have to wait until next week when I get photo’s from Glen at MeanBitches to put in my post. I’ll also make a post soon with pics from my Maui trip, where I am right now.

I received this letter awhile ago and wanted to share it. It’s a thank you letter from a fan who I created a custom vid for. You can skip past the first paragraph where he basically just says how great it was…it gets a lot more interesting. It’s a bit of insight into the minds of those who are into alternative or unusual fetishes.

I’m often asked ‘why’ a guy would want to jerk off to a vid of me making fun of his penis size (or of me threatening to crush him under my giant foot…or of me pretending to be his cheating wife fucking another man…etc. etc.) Every individual has their own story. See below:

 

Mistress T,
Please do not think that my long delay in replying to you after seeing the custom video you made per my request is an indication of dissatisfaction. On the contrary, the video has had such a powerful effect on me, an extraordinarily personal and positive effect, that I have needed to process my feelings for a few weeks before reaching out to you. It is the best money I have ever spent.
It is incredible. You did an exceptional job–Oscar worthy, as I expected from knowing your work. I joined your site after seeing some of your videos because I knew you would be perfect for my fantasies. The video was extraordinary; exactly what I wanted and more importantly, needed. I am sending you more money as a bonus for the video because of what an exceptional job you did and how pleased I am with your work. You followed my instructions exactly and filled in the empty spaces in my narrative perfectly with your performance. You “got” the character and the theme perfectly.

The video has helped me process my feelings about what happened to me in real life that you role-played in the video; abusive treatment by my mother. I don’t want to be specific about what happened–or use the name of the video–for the sake of privacy.  Needless to say, I have had great difficulty in forming romantic and sexual relationships with women in my life, not because of issues about which she abused me, but due to low self-esteem. I’ve had decades of therapy. Despite having some partial validation that the one particularly egregious abusive incident occurred from reading records kept by a professional who treated me as a child when it occurred, the incident and question about what exactly happened has haunted me ever since.

The video fills a great need in my life. My decades of therapy have not rid me of my obsession with the subject of penis size, and I have spent extraordinarily high amounts on phone sex trying to re-enact or talk about the issue and that one event. This video has changed me–positively; I’m more at peace with my past now. It also is something I will have forever for when I feel the need to re-experience the abuse as a coping measure, far superior to a phone conversation.

Your beauty and my extreme lust for you (I so want to fuck you senseless—you have the most perfectly round, sexy rear-end and everything else that drive me mad with desire for you) adds greatly to the experience. That physical dimension along, with the strong psychological dimension involved for me, is a turn-on of another sort that synergistically mixes with the psychological stimulation to create an extreme response in me, pleasurable and all-encompassing. My first view of the video produced the best, most powerful masturbatory orgasm of my life. It was as if decades of mental confusion and sexual tension were ejaculated in one very long orgasm. Indescribable, unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. In subsequent viewings, I cannot hold out for the entire video to come–it makes me come several times in short order because it affects me so deeply.

The video has been very helpful for me in being able to open up to my feelings about the event. Your role-play performance is so powerful and dead-on that I feel like I am reliving the experience in a way, allowing me to feel and think things I have suppressed for decades. I had heard from various people, including a former girlfriend who was a psychologist, that really good role-play can be very effective in helping process negative life events. I now know that to be true. Whatever I have gained from my therapy in dealing with the effects of the abuse, being transported back into the situation in the position of being a son with an overpowering mother that I feel when I watch the video produces feelings and thoughts that therapy has not been able to draw out of me. Nor has phone sex been able to provoke strongly the powerful emotions and thoughts. The combination of seeing, hearing, desiring, and being talked to as I was talked to in the incident allows me to feel the pain so that I can process it in a safe, non-threatening environment.

So, thank you very, very much. Your performance has changed me, improved my psychological relationship to this difficult event, lessening the pain I feel. I can process the real event more easily psychologically given the ability to lose myself in the fantasy for some of the negative rumination I endure sometimes resulting from what happened to me. I now have a great, very intense multi-sensory outlet for exorcising some of those demons, when I need it, thanks to you. I will benefit from having this video as a way to deal with those extremely difficult feelings and thoughts for the rest of my life.
I expected a great job by you, but the results far exceed my hopes and expectations. Wow.
Thank you.
A “fan for life and satsified customer”

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