Story still paused: fan mail

Posted on July 21, 2011 by Mistress T

I get a fair bit of fan mail, a lot of it rubbish…blathering, written I’m sure with one hand while the other is pumping a horny cock and I’d rather not repeat to anyone…but once in awhile I get something I feel proud of. In this case I only wish he had used better punctuation but I give it to you exactly as I received it:

hi mistress t. thanks so much for making another great mom-son themed vid. i must confess that the fetish is a big guilty pleasure of mine, and there’s nothing hotter than having you bring it to life and enrich it with your incomparable sexiness and poise. in this latest outing, there was once again so much to enjoy. for one thing, you looked incredibly hot in your outfit. it gave you a tormentingly immaculate and unattainably ladyish quality that fit perfectly for such an iconically sublime, ideal, holy, forbidden character as a mom. as well as that, i really appreciated the great camera views showing off the delights of your awesome body and your wealth of hot, taboo dialogue. the latter always plays such an important part in keeping alive the mom-son-context a scenario. your character also had a neat mix of demureness and chastity on the one hand, and sex and sensuality on the other. it made for a fine bit of mind-fuckery – always keeping the viewer in suspense as to whether they’re going to get some loving or be sent packing. you have that same quality in a lot of your vids in general. i think it’s very effective how you alternate between intimate sweetness and cold dismissal. it’s like you’ve combined the good-cop/bad cop rolled into one persona. when watching, it can sometimes feel like being petted with a velvet glove one moment, then swatted with an iron gauntlet the next.

~His email ended and my comments start:

I was reluctant at first to do ‘Mommy’ porn. For one, incest stuff is illegal in a lot of parts of the world…but as far as it being wrong, well, who am I to police the thoughts in a person’s head? Not even being maternal myself I have embraced my role as Mommy T. I receive the nicest email from fans of this genre & I can’t imagine them harming anyone. They tend to be the most respectful and gentlest of my perverts. I am clearly fulfilling a need so judge if you wish but remember: different strokes for different folks.

Don't mess with Mama T!

Story paused: FREE previews

Posted on July 19, 2011 by Mistress T

I know some of you are dying to know what happened next in the journey that brought me here…but now is a good time to remind you of what the current ‘here’ is. So, have a look at my latest preview page (July Preview): http://www.mistresst.net/promos

Enjoy!

By the way…I say the ‘current’ here as by the time I get the story caught up, who knows where I’ll be. I have recently turned down offers for a reality TV show (I don’t want to be THAT kind of famous.) but have accepted offers to do interviews…so who knows what’s next?

MistressT Fetish Goddess with leather glove and stiletto boots

Gloves, Boots & Bitch: perfect!

Free spirit

Posted on July 16, 2011 by Mistress T

Shortly after San Fran & things ending with the judgmental boyfriend another life-changing event happened.

At that time I was proud of myself for landing a prestigious outside sales job. I had purposefully only taken inside sales jobs for years, doing my thing on the phone so that no one could say that I got by on my looks. Having had a lot of success just using my brain & my voice I decided it was time to use the rest of my assets. I leased a brand new car. I wore business suits. I took pics of myself in my business suit next to my brand new car and sent them to my Mother. I wanted her to be proud of me.

Friends took me to Wreck beach one day. It was a clothing optional beach and I had no problem gearing right down. It felt amazing to be nude outside, with the ocean breeze caressing my skin. A cute, blond surfer boy came along selling drinks. There was just something about him. His tanned skin, his disheveled sun bleached hair, his sparkling blue eyes and relaxed manner. I had to get to know him better.

I came back to the beach and pursued him. We had a hot fling and as I got to know him I was fascinated with his free spirit way of living. Early 30’s, hanging out at the beach making a simple living, partying a lot, traveling to exotic places in the winter for months at a time…he was the happiest person I ever met and it came through in the way he fucked. So present in the moment. So passionate.

He encouraged me to come down to the beach after work and sell tequila shooters at sunset for fun and extra cash. It seemed to be a crazy idea, selling tequila shooters nude, on a nude beach? Crazy was just what I needed. That summer there was a song that kept playing on the radio with a line that haunted me, “I think my life is passing me by…” Here’s a link to the vid/song: http://www.musictory.com/music/Sam+Roberts/Brother+Down

Summer was coming to an end and all I would have was a job that I actually hated. A job I was doing because I thought it would make my Mother proud. Even though, bless her, she always just said she wanted me to be happy. She also said that I was too entrepreneurial to ever be satisfied working for someone else.

I decided that I would go to India. I didn’t have much money saved but I would have just charged it on my credit card. A girlfriend invited me to go to Japan with her to make quick cash hostessing with her for a few months. She had done it before. It was long hours but easy, just pouring drinks, singing karaoke and making conversation. No sex, no stripping, no funny business. That was all true except it wasn’t easy. At least not for me. I felt like a slave. Management was very strict. It was a hard 3 months but it was an adventure and then I went to Thailand for a month and India for 2 months. Alone!

I could expand on what happened in those 6 months of travel. I have a lot of stories. But this isn’t a travel blog and I have a feeling that my readers are more interested in hearing how all this contributed to me becoming ‘Mistress T’. It started with meeting that beach boy who taught me that there are other ways to make a living and better ways to live your life other than just climbing the corporate ladder and conforming to other people’s rules. He taught me that it’s important to be true to yourself and to not care what people thought. Making a major life shift doesn’t happen over night. I rebounded back into the corporate world a couple more times before I left it for good. That beach boy has always been in my life, still is, to remind me to be true to myself.

The summer I returned from India was the best summer of my life. I sold tequila shooters every day at the beach. I partied a lot. I had 3 wonderful lovers on rotation. I slept with who I wanted when I wanted and there was no drama. I started attending fetish parties in Vancouver. I began to move in the direction of incorporating my sexual kinky side with my entrepreneurial side. I started to get braver, more confident, more self aware. A fire had been lite and it started to burn hotter, pushing me in the direction of becoming ‘Mistress T’.

Mistress T: Beach Bum

More fun in San Francisco…

Posted on July 12, 2011 by Mistress T

I kept in touch with the male Dom who I met at The Power Exchange…he who flogged me first. He invited me to come back and I can resist anything except temptation.

On one trip I brought my boyfriend at the time. This turned out to be a poor choice but a worthwhile learning experience, but I’ll get to that. First I’ll tell you about meeting the famous “Midori” ( www.planetmidori.com ) Among other things, she’s known for being the author of “The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage”. She was doing a rope bondage stage performance at a big fetish bash and I had the opportunity to help out behind the scenes body painting some of her victims/models. I got to meet her and received a signed copy of her recent CD of erotic stories. She was lovely and it was a thrill meeting someone so well known in the fetish community.

During this event I also had an opportunity to ‘bottom’ under some very talented Doms. I loved being strung up in front of a crowd. I was spanked, flogged and experimented on (electro-play, etc.). To be honest, I didn’t care for the acts (other than flogging) as much as I loved being watched.

I had been having my fun, checking in with my boyfriend from time-to-time. It was a big party, he was wandering off and coming back and I thought he was having a good time. I was deep in ‘sub space’ being flogged in front of a large crowd when I caught his eye and noticed something was off. I went up to him and asked. Things were NOT okay. He had just had enough of watching me ‘getting beaten’. He looked disgusted. People were watching us talk, they could read the situation. I was humiliated and ashamed. I felt like a freak for enjoying myself. I felt selfish for not realizing he wasn’t having fun. I was emotionally vulnerable after hours of ‘play and excitement’. It was like being dropped from a 10 story building. I just broke down.

That was about 10 years ago and I was not then who I am today. Now, at 35 I would likely not get myself into such a situation and if I did, I would react differently. Then, however, it was crushing. I cried in the cab all the way back to the hotel and cried all night. He did not try to comfort me. I felt like a disgusting human being for being into kinky stuff.

Obviously, we didn’t stay together, but that doesn’t even matter. The important lesson I learned was about emotion and the vulnerability of ‘sub space’. It helped me later on to be a good Domme.

My journey in learning to accept my kinky side has not been a straight path. I had my set backs and uphill battles. Maybe you, my reader, have similar stories? I invite you to comment here if you like. I know I’m not alone in my love of kink anymore…you are not alone either *smile*.

Vulnerable

Story paused: Fire Dragon

Posted on June 30, 2011 by Mistress T

I’m going to ‘pause’ the story again for a side-bar moment of self-indulgent fluff. Since the blog is about getting to know ‘Mistress T’ more intimately I’ll tell you more about the ingredients that make me who I am.

Although I don’t normally go in for all the horoscope hooey I possess undeniable specific characteristics of both Taurus and Fire Dragon:

Innovative
Enterprising
Flexible
Self-assured
Brave
Passionate
Conceited
Tactless
Scrutinizing
Quick-tempered

You don’t have to dig too deep to see that this describes me pretty well. There’s a fine line between ‘Self-Assured’ and ‘Conceited’ though…and as for the famous ‘temper’ found in both Taurus & Fire Dragon, weeellll, I wouldn’t have a problem if some people didn’t make me so fucking angry! ha ha. Seriously, I feel the fire inside of me. I love that I have this fire, it drives me forward, it gives me passion, it makes me strong, but so far I haven’t violently hurt anyone by losing my temper. I don’t throw things or yell. Maybe I should? My Mother always cautioned me to keep control of my temper as she apparently had a violent temper in her teens. With all of that fire inside of me it has to go somewhere, right?

I dance. Maybe not particularly well, but I love to dance. Gay bars and fetish parties mostly.

As for being innovative and enterprising, this has been clearly true since a young age. For example, I rolled & sold single cigarettes to other teens while in high school (I have never smoked myself) and I’ve always been able to find work/create work and make money. I think I’m very lucky, but my step-father tells me “Luck is when opportunity meets preparation”.

As for bravery, the only difference between bravery and stupidity is how it turns out. For example, I once calmly put myself physically between some thugs that were beating up a friend, making eye contact and asking them firmly to ‘please stop’. It created a moment where my friend could get up from where he was being kicked and escape just before the police arrived. It was only brave because I didn’t get hit. If I had been hit, everyone would have said I was stupid to do that.

I take risks. I’m not afraid of failure because it’s all living and learning. Although I’m goal oriented I really believe that’s it’s about the journey, not the destination. I find humor in bad situations and I can laugh at myself.

It seems strange to write about me, me, me…I wonder when the story gets caught up to current time what I’ll write about? At this point I’m at about 12 years ago and a lot has happened in those 12 years so I guess I won’t have to worry about it for awhile…

Here’s a little more on the DRAGON (in my case, it’s pretty darn accurate):

THE SIGN OF THE DRAGON

The key to the Dragon personality is that Dragons are the free spirits of the Zodiac. Conformation is a Dragon’s curse. Rules and regulations are made for other people. Restrictions blow out the creative spark that is ready to flame into life. Dragons must be free and uninhibited. The Dragon is a beautiful creature, colorful and flamboyant. An extroverted bundle of energy, gifted and utterly irrepressible, everything Dragons do is on a grand scale – big ideas, ornate gestures, extreme ambitions. However, this behavior is natural and isn’t meant for show. Because they are confident, fearless in the face of challenge, they are almost inevitably successful. Dragons usually make it to the top. However, Dragon people be aware of their natures. Too much enthusiasm can leave them tired and unfulfilled. Even though they are willing to aid when necessary, their pride can often impede them from accepting the same kind of help from others. Dragons’ generous personalities give them the ability to attract friends, but they can be rather solitary people at heart. A Dragon’s self-sufficiency can mean that he or she has no need for close bonds with other people.

Here’s a little more on the FIRE DRAGON if you’re interested:

THE FIRE DRAGON 1916 AND 1976

The Fire Dragon is a powerful force to be reckoned with. This is a Dragon doubled! The Fire Dragon can move from calm and collected to combustible in a matter of seconds. In some ways the Fire Dragon is his or her own worst enemy. These Dragons cannot help feeling they are valuable and all-knowing. When they are right their vehemence and vigor is an asset to the cause, and though they value objectivity, they do not always employ the best decision-making measures, and sometimes jump to the wrong conclusion. They also suffer from recklessness and quick tempers. Yet, when they do keep their temper, emotions, and rivaling spirit under control, they emanate a commanding influence on other people.

Feelin' the FIRE? Grrrr! 😉

BDSM Beginnings continued…

Posted on June 27, 2011 by Mistress T

…continued from the last post…and I know some of you have been anxiously awaiting more of this story…after I fisted her and played with her for a bit longer the male Dom asked if I’d like my boots shined. His little smirk and her moans of excitement led me to understand that this too would be something very kinky.

He released her and sat down in a chair, gesturing me to sit beside him and watch first. She fetched some regular shoe shine supplies and went to work, half naked on her knees at his feet. This alone was erotic and dirty enough to satisfy but soon she was riding his boot with her pussy pushed down on the toe, humping his boot like a dog, moaning like a whore. The growing crowd loved this display and she loved being watched. When she had properly ‘shined’ both of his boots she moved on to mine. The toe of my boot was more slender and she was able to fuck my boot like a cock, taking most of the toe to my ankle deep in her hungry, freshly fisted cunt.

The male Dom then asked if I would like to know what it felt like to get flogged. I was up for pretty much anything at that point and as if in a dream I found myself dropping my pants. Standing on a small platform, leaning forward against a slightly inclined board I was bare-assed and ready. The slut who had just fucked my boots was holding my hand, telling me what to expect, reminding me of safe words and being very sweet. Just past her I made eye contact with my now very freaked out platonic male friend in a sea of faces all watching the newbie (me) getting flogged for the first time.

Also in view was a women in a sex swing getting fucked very hard. On the floor to my left was a naked man in a gimp mask, kneeling on a little blanket jerking off. Further to my left there was a women on on fours getting fucked from behind by one man while another one fucked her face and a third video-taped them. Last, but certainly not least, over my shoulder I could see the male Dom, clad in all leather, holding a huge, heavy, mean looking flogger. He told me to turn away and I felt the weight of it come down on me…on my back, against my ass, with increasing intensity. It was glorious. I started to sweat. I felt so alive. I’ll never forget that night.

My friend & I laid awake most of the night processing what had happened. He and I stayed platonic friends.

I traded contact information with the male Dom and he became an important friend. I’ll tell you more about him later.

For those who are confused about me being a Domme who enjoyed being flogged, let me explain further. I am first and foremost an exhibitionist. Although I am naturally Dominant I am open-minded and feel that Dommes should know what it feels like to be a sub, even if that doesn’t really ‘do it’ for them. I make a lousy sub, by the way. I’m a real brat, too strong willed and stubborn. I also hate pain. In the words of the great Mae West: “I’ll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.”

MistressT FemDom Fetish Goddess Ass less Pantyhose

Bottoms Up!

BDSM beginnings…

Posted on June 19, 2011 by Mistress T

While I was working as a receptionist at that big company in my early 20’s a coworker introduced me to an interesting website. I think it was called “Bianca’s Woods” or something like that. It was a place where people could write sexy stories and post them for others to read.

Most of the stories were the usual sort of thing but one story really caught my attention. It was a long story written from a woman’s perspective. She needed work and took a job as a maid/servant in a fancy mansion. She sensed something was unusual there but couldn’t place it. When she finally met the owner of the house and her real boss she was so nervous she spilled his drink. He took her over his knee and spanked her. What followed was a slippery slope of events that climaxed in a very intense scene…she was prepared, presented, strung up, stimulated, and fucked by a group of people. The interesting part was that it was all written from HER perspective, and it was very consensual. The reader could ride the emotional roller coaster with her, her shame, her wrestling with this side of herself, her giving into it, etc. There were various elements of BDSM, electro stimulation, pain & pleasure and in the end, even a dog!

The same author wrote other stories, all from the woman’s perspective. Her struggle with giving herself, submitting.

I found this theme very exciting. Submission. Control. Domination. Pain & pleasure. I wanted to explore but I didn’t know how…but just like most, I found my way, didn’t I? *grin*

A couple years later I was in San Fransisco with a platonic male friend. I asked the concierge at our hotel to recommend a place that would blow my mind. All I wanted was an address, no other info. We ended up at ‘The Power Exchange”. If you’re familiar with this place now, understand that it was very different 12 or 13 years ago when I first went. I’ll describe it:

The Power Exchange was a live sex/BDSM kink club. The first room we walked into, hearing loud music coming from somewhere beyond, was a medieval themed room with a big wooden table & fireplace…and a huge viking looking man flogging a women tied to a cross…her male partner on the other side of the cross kissing her and stimulating her front. It was a powerful introduction and I watched in awe for the first time, someone being flogged and whipped. Each time she was struck her body moved so beautifully.

We continued on and each room we entered offered more to overload my senses. Cages, peep holes, a room full of TV’s playing porn movies, people masturbating, people fucking, people watching, people being Dominated…a women lying on a bed with about a dozen men fondling her…eventually we came across a scene that many others were watching. A beautiful woman was tied to a cross being punished by a somewhat mean looking man dressed all in leather. She was instructed to explain to the crowd why she was being punished: she had burnt his toast that morning. A rumble of laughter went through the crowd and I smiled too. That’s when he looked directly at me and asked if I wanted to come into the scene.

I didn’t even turn to look at my poor, freaked out friend, I just slide under the chain and into their space. They both quickly explained that this was all consensual, explained safe words, etc. He handed me a vibrator and instructed me to touch it to the cloths pegs that were attached all over her nipples, breasts and pussy. I loved the way she reacted. She was very animated & vocal. She kept looking me in the eye and smiling between screams of pain. He then put a rubber glove on my hand, lubed me up and instructed me to fist her. I did and it was like having the whole world in my hand. By now the crowd had grown to dozens, all watching the naive newbie play in public for the first time. I must have been quite the sight.

I realize at this point I have your full attention but I also understand that attention spans are short these days so I will leave it there for now and continue later. There is more, oh-so-much more *grin*.

MistressT Femdom Fetish Goddess in red & black

Decending into the depths of depraivity

Young & dumb in the BIG city

Posted on June 14, 2011 by Mistress T

Shortly after arriving in Vancouver I ‘landed’ what I thought was a good job working in a call center. I had had several sales jobs at that point and I was pretty good. I was aggressive and competitive.

My life story is full of important meetings and it never ceases to amaze me how meeting one person can change so much so quickly.

One day as I was coming into the building with my hands full a man held the door for me…then as we waited for the elevator he overheard me telling a coworker that I had just moved from Nova Scotia. In the elevator he gave me his card and offered to help me in this new city. I thought he was cute so I called and we went for lunch. He immediately started talking about his wife & kids which of course freaked me out since I had just had my heart broken by a married man.

He was all business, explaining that he had a lot of contacts and wanted to help me find better employment. I avoided him for weeks but he was persistent and finally he didn’t pussy foot around, told me that working in a call center was a dead end job & he was offering me a real opportunity. A reception position in a big, growing company that would pay 70% of the cost of night classes to do whatever I wanted. He told me I would be a fool to turn it down. He said that he could see potential in me and he didn’t want to see it wasted. I still suspected he wanted to get into my pants but I went for it anyway.

We remained friends for years and he was never inappropriate with me. He always just helped me with my career. 10 years later I ran into his best friend and in an intoxicated ramble he told me that I was blind to not see how much his friend has always been in love with me but would never cheat on his wife…that all of it, the jobs, the help, was just to keep me close to him. I was shocked.

The job, by the way, took me on a path that wasn’t right for me but I tried. I tried to be a good girl. I went to night school for sales, marketing and public relations while working in a big, conservative office by day. I went from reception to marketing and then moved around to a few other companies in sales. I always did very well, but I always hated it. I felt like I was doing what my parents would want me to do. I was climbing the corporate ladder.

Being very untrue to myself I also found myself in a relationship with a very nice man who wanted to marry me and start a family. We had picked out the engagement ring when out of the blue, the married guy who broke my heart called. He tracked me down. He was coming to Vancouver on business and wanted to go for dinner. I went and it was only dinner, although it was difficult to not go back to his hotel room. I still felt the same and so did he. It was gut-wrenching. He was very unhappily married but would stay for the child.

Two weeks later I had moved out on my own and ended the relationship with the nice guy. I didn’t love him the way he deserved to be loved.

Corporate Whore, selling my soul.

Why I really moved to Vancouver…

Posted on June 13, 2011 by Mistress T

When asked why I moved to Vancouver I often say ‘weather & economy’ but the real reason is that I fell in love with a married man. Here’s the story:

I was 20. He was 10 years older and the owner of the company I worked for. He was married with a 2 year old. After a drunken office party fling that should have ended there we became more involved. We had a month together right away as his wife and child were out of town. We fell in love. He filed for divorce and moved out. Then flip flopped for 10 months until he finally decided (and rightly so) that his child was more important…you see his wife took the child far away and wouldn’t come back unless they reconciled.

I moved away to give him space to do the right thing. I wasn’t about to be his long term mistress and that’s exactly what would have happened if I stayed. The attraction was so great we simply could not stay away from each other.

It was the hardest thing that I had ever gone through…and 15 years later I can tell you it’s still the hardest thing I’ve gone through. Heart break. Losing the person I felt such a special connection to. Anyone who has had their heart broken understands how intense this type of pain can be. There’s certainly been enough songs and poems written about heart break. We all recognize that this pain can be even worse than having a loved one pass away.

So, with a freshly broken heart I packed up what little I had and with $1000 in the bank I moved to Vancouver just before my 21st birthday. I stayed with distant family that I didn’t really know for the 1st two months while I got settled.

Every cloud has a silver lining though. Moving to Vancouver was one of the smartest things I’ve ever done. Also, the married guy convinced me of something important: that I could do ANYTHING I chose to do. He saw potential in me and lit a fire that has never gone out. There are few things as powerful in this life as making yourself completely vulnerable to someone, exposing yourself, giving yourself over to someone and THEN to have that person tell you that you are more wonderful than you ever imagined.

Without that I’m not sure that I would have done all that I have with my life. It drove me to reach higher, to try harder and to believe in myself. Other than luck, reaching higher, trying harder and believing in yourself is pretty much all that separates the successful from the unsuccessful, in my humble opinion.

MistressT FemDom Fetish Goddess Rooftop Vancouver Canada

On top of the world in Vancouver

Story paused: London Rubber Ball

Posted on June 11, 2011 by Mistress T

I’m pausing the story to share a photo I just received from the lovely Nina Birch in London. It includes herself and the diabolical Fetish Liza (red latex) and Moi.

MistressT NinaBirch FetishLiza Skin Two Rubber Ball in London 2011

Fetish Liza, Nina Birch & Mistress T in London for Skin Two Rubber Ball May 28, 2011

I had an amazing time recently in London. This photo was taken the night that we all shared a hotel room and attended the Skin Two Rubber Ball on May 28. 2011.

Just a couple days before we had all been at The English Mansion’s FemDom Ball. I met some amazing people (these ladies included), made some great business connections and personal friendships. Maybe in a future blog entry when the story gets caught up to this point I’ll delve into more detail…like the hot tub scene that seemed to be the highlight for many…